The next morning, we see everyone's waking up. Corey announces to the cameraman that there's five hours and fifteen minutes until his wedding begins. Meanwhile, the cameraman's thinking that there's eight hours and forty minutes left until he never has to focus in on Corey Feldman's rat-shaped face ever again. Outside, the Surreal newspaper has arrived with the headline "House Braces For Feldman Wedding." On the cover, there's a picture of Corey and Susie poolside. Corey's flashing a peace sign and is sporting what seriously looks like white-boy dreadlocks, in what could only have been that brief period when he tried to be taken seriously as a gangsta rapper. Yep...straight outta Compton, here's Corey "The Obvious Jew" Feldman. Corey comes bursting into the house with the paper in his hand and yells "Guess what?!" Manny Mo yells back, "What, bro?" Corey yells back, "I got the paper!" Seriously. Like this is some kind of huge thing. Everyone gives him a hearty "YAY!" because he's finally done something around the house that didn't grate on their nerves or leave the house reeking of twenty-minute-old vegetarian excrement. Corey hands the paper to Hammer to read it. Why, I don't know. Maybe Corey can't read. I can't imagine being too shocked over that revelation. Hammer reads all about the wedding and how this wedding will be as "real as it gets." Corey's on the edge of his seat as Hammer continues. Hammer reads, "Everyone wishes the two of them a life together of happiness, love, and crazy sex!" This prompts laughter from everyone because they all remember how Corey admitted to forcing his soon-to-be wife to go out and score chicks to bring back Chez Feldman to make out with while he sits in a dark corner with large cotton panties on his head while he slaps his little German Soldier around, repeating, "Mommy reallydid love me! Mommy really did love me!"
Episode Report CardUncle Bob: B- | 472 USERS: C+
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