Surreal Life

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B- | 475 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Wedding; Goodbyes

Corey and Susie are getting ready to go on their honeymoon while the rest of the cast members are gathered around the kitchen table doing Jell-O shots or telling Corey jokes or something. Corey says he's going to miss them all and Jerri says, "Oh, we'll miss you too!" and Vince lets out a loud guffaw at that remark. Corey makes his way around the table to say goodbye to everyone and no tears are shed. Jerri says that she didn't really know how to feel about him leaving, but now she can honestly say it was a relief. Amen, sister. Pimptard and his woman leave the house, Corey exclaiming, "Goodbye Surreal Life, hello real life!" They get in their limo and take off and America releases a heavy sigh. The rest of the cast members discover a grand feast prepared for them for their last supper together. Gabby's excited about going home, but bummed to leave everyone behind. You know -- everyone except Corey. They make a toast to themselves and then someone absentmindedly adds, "And Corey!" This causes even more laughter. It's like the Munchkins coming out of their shell after the Wicked Witch of the East was crushed by a flying house. Except Corey's still alive and sobbing somewhere.

It's the next morning, and Gabby has to leave early because she wants to be home in time to see her kids off to school. She hugs Jerri and they cry. She hugs Manny and she cries. Vince has walked her to her limo; they hug and promise to call each other. She says, "Take care, Tin Man," which I'm guessing is her nickname for Vince since he has no heart. She rides off looking out the window and crying. I'm beginning to think Gabby got just a wee bit more attached to the others than she should have. Manny Mo is next; hugs all around. He wanted to leave early because he didn't want to stand around sobbing while everyone else left. Jerri cries and gives Manny a long hug goodbye. He motions from the limo for Jerri to call him. Seriously, if she banged that cackling shitnugget in that tent on the camping trip, I must give the little bastard props. Brande's next to leave; she tells Vince she'll see him in Vegas and gives him a kiss. Mercedes even jumps up for a group hug. Jerri then leaves, saying that she gained a group of friends and was able to show that she's not the evil bitch we all saw on Survivor. It's Hammer Time; he gives Vince a hug, gets in his limo, and wipes the tears from his eyes. This leaves Vince all alone at the house. Vince admits that it was toughest for him because he had to say goodbye to everyone over and over again. And the damnedest thing was, it took every ounce of concentration for his drug-addled brain to remember each of their names.

Surreal Life

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