Ultra is tracking a breakout, a young woman who styles herself the Red Avenger and leaves a rare, red rose as her calling card, once she uses her powers to fight evil. Russell thinks she's an old girlfriend of his, but she's not, and I can't figure out why. I mean, I can figure out they're two separate women, played by two separate actresses. I just can't figure out why the writers thought it would be more meaningful to have the guest star further removed from a familiar character than need be.
While Stephen is supposed to be working with Ultra to track this breakout, he is, of course, sneaking off with Russell to help her. Hillary (Hilary? Let's go with Hillary) catches onto his act, and covers for him, then makes out with him, then ends the episode by summoning him to a debriefing. No. She said it with a straight face, so I'm saying it that way, too. The problem is that Stephen runs with the double entendre, and then Hillary tells him she's going to debrief him "so hard."
In other news, Cara and John have sex, and disagree, and disappoint each other and stand by each other. Morgan is pregnant and lets Jed know, after she probes his mind to find the location of Roger's body. Stephen finds his father's body, but Jed finds Stephen while Stephen is finding Roger's body, so that can't end well.
I don't know. I feel like a high school senior covering this show -- not because it makes me feel young, but because it's mid-March and how much can any of this matter -- like at all? I'll be back ASAP with the full weecap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page, and then come on over to the show thread, where we compare you to a kiss from a rose.
Night. A business man (BM) makes his way home. A hooded, leather-clad figure in completely kicky boots follows. Once home, when BM flips on the lights, Kicky Boots is already inside. She's a Tomorrow Person, hellbent on kicking the bejesus out of him, which she does. Once he's disabled, we hear muted cries. Kicky Boots opens a closet/vault door, to find a woman bound and gagged. Bonus? Kicky Boots is sporting a red mask -- you know the kind, like a masquerade ball mask. It only covers the eye-section of her face. Is there a name for those? A quick search on "masquerade masks" implies I could be looking for Venetian masquerade masks. There should be a better term, like Kicky Boots, but for masks, yes? We cut to a...
Hotel Room. Cara and John star in an amateur soft-core porno. Okay, they have a sex scene/Victoria's Secret/Perfume ad. Glad to see Cara's sleeping with adults, again. Sad to see John hasn't found a better mate. Poor Peyton List. She's better than this.
Cara: OMG. That was...
That Guy: Awesome?
John: Long overdue?
Cara: How can I sleep with you and be a leader?
Audience: How can you be a leader, anyhow? Might as well enjoy some John. We sure would.
John: I respect your authoritah, in and out of the bedroom.
Recapper: I'm taking that as a shout-out. Yeah, shut up. I know it must have been filmed before I started turning Cara into Cartman in my recaps, but I THINK I GET HAZARD PAY, PEOPLE.
Tubey: Only if by "pay" you mean fake bragging rights.
Recapper: Of course.
Next day, at the lair, Cara and John do the teleport of shame, back to the lair.
Russell: *Makes quirky, innuendo-laden remark*
Cara: What's that?
Audience: Dork Detector. Look, it lights up when Stephen holds it.
TIM: It was Roger's. I'm going to spew some fake science at you, now.
Recapper: Shut up, Cousin Matthew.
Russell: We think it's looking for Roger.
Stephen: My father's body might be out there. All we have to do is get in Jed's mind and find out the location of his corpse.
John: I start to offer some advice contra to Cara's opinion, then remember how much I like having sex.