At the top of the episode, Blake tells us he hits his button when he hears something he likes, and then Carson tells us the Blind Auditions are "in full swing." They are in such full swing, in fact, that they have almost gone over the top of the swingset and around again, leaving us wishing the auditions were over. But we have to be patient, because it's only a slow, confusing, downward spiral from here.
The first contestant of the day is Michelle Brooks-Thompson. She has a busy family life, Carson tells us. And she works at a bank. Pretty normal stuff, so she must have some singing chops. Oh, her husband made it onto the St. Louis Rams, then got fired. She was almost a football wife. NBC still managed to get a hold of Michelle's husband's official NFL photo, so props to that research team.
Michelle is singing "Proud Mary," and before it can really get all crazy and Tina up in this bitch, Cee Lo and Adam push their buttons. Blake tells Christina that this is "your girl" and Christina is, as ever this season, withholding with her button push. She pushes it at the last moment, for whose benefit I'm not sure, but I am very glad she's not pulling that fan out.
"I was dancing in my chair and moving over my button," Christina tells Michelle, unhelpfully. They would all like to work with her, because she's a powerhouse. Michelle listens to her heart and goes with Adam. What an odd choice. Michelle seems like she isn't even sure why she chose him as she walks offstage.
No time to think about that, though, as we move on to Diego Val, whose mother doesn't speak a word of English. But a chair lighting up and turning around is the same in any language. Diego also had a childhood disease that impaired his ability to grow a sensible haircut. Just kidding. Not about the disease, though.
"It's funny how when there's tragedy in your life that's sometimes your entry point into music," Carson notes, unable to relate. Yeah, Carson, I bet Diego thinks it's hilarious. He volunteers at children's hospitals because he wants to share how funny it is that some days you can use your legs and you know, other days you can't.
Diego puts his own spin on "Animal" by the Neon Trees, then starts singing in that same crazy, made up language that his mom was speaking. The look on Adam's face was unmistakable; it read: "he's singing in gibberish, right?" Cee Lo turns around, and Diego says that The Voice helps people achieve their dreams and blah blah blah go back to Peru and do something useful. I would like to reiterate that for most people, singing does not put food on the table.