The Voice
Blind Auditions, Part 1

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Blind Auditions

When we return from commercial, Carson dutifully reminds us that Christina only has two people on her team. Fear not, there is one more competitor. Want to bet she "chooses" Christina? Beverly McClellan is a 41-year old woman with a bald head and more than one neck tattoo (one is fine, but two is tacky). Also, neck tattoos! She so hardcore! So naturally she's performing Janis Joplin's "Piece of My Heart." Her rendition gets the judge's interested and then (brace yourself, take some Cialis or baby aspirin or something) Christina buzzes in. Adam does too and Beverly's family jumps around cheerfully backstage and hugs each other with tears in their eyes. Christina relies on her "I'm Christina, bitch!" argument and it works, because it has to. Now magically, each team has three artists. Miracles do happen! Also, math.

So who are we rooting for? I sort of think Cee Lo Green has the best competitors, although Adam has a few great singers. That said, as Christina is the only true A list celebrity on the show, it may be in her contract that she gets to coach the winner. Finally, I think Blake is cheating because he has four people on his team, not three. How so? Easy a duo is not one person, it is TWO people. That's math, people. Don't argue.

Melissa Locker a.k.a Lulu Bates owns all of Maroon 5's records. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.

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The Voice

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