The Voice

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Blind Auditions, Part 2

First up in the New World Order is a singer named Lily Elyse, whose storyline is suffering from some bad editing. It's like the producers think we know her story, but all we really know is that Christina regretted not picking her before. So when she comes on stage first and belts out a number and Christina spins around and looks thrilled, we sort of know why, but not totally. Christina is really excited to get a second chance with this singer, and the girl is obviously thrilled to be on Christina Freakin' Aguilera's team. The only people not thrilled are the television audience, because we don't really know what's going on. Anyway, we don't watch this show for the editing, do we? Carson does math: Christina now has her eight contestants, as does Cee Lo. Adam still needs two and Blake needs one. That leaves seven contestants with second chances still to come. VENN DIAGRAM PLEASE. Carson spins Adam and Blake around. Next is Sonia Rao, the hot Indian girl who has mysteriously paired a poncho with patent leather over-the-knee boots. She sings that song about "kissing pavement" and Blake almost rings in, but doesn't. The chairs spin and they recognize her and Adam fake hits his button because she's attractive and legal and he would like to go to there. But not enough to actually pick her for her singing talent. The girl yelps in misery and goes off to lick her wounds or bury her face in her poncho and cry until mommy and daddy buy her a Louis Vuitton backpack to dull the pain. Next up in the sloppy seconds round is the bald guy with six kids and a lot of chicken to buy for the table. He sings, and after some hesitation Blake buzzes. He is excited to see that it is the guy he wanted, and the guy is excited that he may be able to feed his brood. So now everyone has a full team except for Adam who is playing hard to get. He claims he is waiting for some sense of soul, but really he just wants attention.

Next is Casey Weston, a youngster with a guitar and a country croon who sings "Stupid Boy," which tempts Adam because he relates? I'm guessing. He hesitates for a while, toying with the audience by dangling his hand over the button without pressing it, but after a particularly soulful vibrato, he hits his big red button and makes her dreams come true. Next is Amanda Wolff, the girl who made the unfortunate decision to sing a Miranda Lambert song. This time she sings a deeply soul-searching number, and Adam buzzes almost instantly. The girl is so excited that she almost stops singing. The she remembers and finishes the song and Adam claims he is very excited to have her on his team. Although we all know her self-esteem is so damaged from being ignored during the first round of auditions that she'll screw up and be out in the next round. But till then, be happy, live long, prosper, spay and neuter your cats and dogs and Adam Levine.

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The Voice

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