The Voice
The Voice

Episode Report Card
Carla Patton: C | 174 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Carson Daly Fails to Empathize, Part 2

Is this Casey Muessigmann character really 22? Is he really a person? He is what any lady's guide to buying denim would call "apple-shaped." He's a cowboy, he wrestles, and he gained 100 pounds after he tore his meniscus. Now I feel bad about that apple-shaped comment. But his name and outfit are still preposterous. If his last name was "Musicman" that would be one thing, but no one can call the last name "Meussigmann" a calling. They should have changed that one at Ellis Island. Fortunately for Casey, he's not being judged on his last name or the cut of his jeans, so Blake and Cee Lo turn around. Blake complimented Casey on his ass-spanking, so Casey chooses him as his coach.

Aquile is attractive, and apparently his struggle is being bi-racial. He was punched in the jaw, probably not for being bi-racial. I bet he was being a little jerk, and sometimes little jerks need to be punched. So he's singing "Your Song" and it makes high school popular crowd Christina and Adam push their buttons. He reminds me of a young John Legend, and this is trouble for all of us. At the end of the performance, Cee Lo casually pushes his button. Adam makes a logical pitch for his team, Christina's comes straight from her chest-piece (from boobsforqueens.com). Aquile seems humble and gracious enough to not make us hate him and vote-punch him in the jaw. He chooses Christina, who might have a shot at winning this season now.

Uh oh, we got another guy in "the biz." Ryan Fogarty sets up the stage for Leann Rimes, but he's no Jermaine-who-won-last-season. LeAnn Rimes found out that Ryan was a singer at karaoke one night, and I would love to go to a karaoke night where LeAnn Rimes just shows up. I would particularly enjoy it if it was part of some elaborate ruse, like she wore a frumpy-looking denim jumper and a prosthetic nose and then was all good and people were like, "you sound just like LeAnn Rimes!" but no one offers her a recording contract because this is the real world and not a movie and record producers don't go to karaoke ever because it makes them even more jaded and un-impressed.

The Voice

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