The Voice
Elimination, Week 2

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Angel Cohn: B- | Grade It Now!
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Pip Squeak

And we're back... to see four more people get cut from this show. I really missed the simplicity (read: shortness) of last season. Oh, and we're getting Jessie J singing with Team Christina. Just what I never wanted. Though I do like that "Domino" song in a Katy Perry-lite sort of way, so maybe if she does that, I'll allow it. In the rehash of last night, we of course get to see Xtina being bitchy to Tony Lucca, which was surely interesting. And I get to wonder if Cheesa will look like she's unconscious again, or if she'll wake up when she finds out she's in the bottom three.

Carson insists that some these songs actually hit a variety of iTunes charts (rock, dance etc.), before introducing Jessie J, who coaches The Voice UK. And she's doing "Domino." So OK, fine. There's a weird echo, but I think it is the backup singers who are not in sync with her. She's dressed like a slutty Princess Jasmine, but to her credit she actually lets the members of Team Christina sing with her on stage instead of shuffling them off to the audience with their mics turned off like the Gym Class Heroes did with Team Adam.

And that's over quickly and fairly painlessly. Now we're moving right along to seeing who from Team Adam gets through. Why does it have to be even? Why couldn't we have just tallied the biggest vote getters from all the teams and eliminated accordingly on merit, not just getting to stay because of some sort of randomly established quota? Are they trying to avoid some Paula Abdul on The X Factor situation where someone just has sit on their hands for several weeks when their entire team is eliminated? Because most of Team Adam could go, and I'd be more than OK with it.

So who is safe? Mathai. Tony Lucca (no shocker there, since he supposedly hit Number 1 on the iTunes rock chart at some point). And fucking Pip. For real. How the hell did that happen? Is America just in love with bowties? Adam's going to have to decide between Kim, Karla and Katrina. Weird that that their initials make KKK. Anyway, they'll sing for their lives later. Hopefully not in white cloaks. Maybe I've been watching too much Boardwalk Empire.

Team Cee Lo's turn. Who's sticking around? Juliet Sims (who also supposedly hit Number 1 on the rock chart last night), Jamar Rogers (his mom looks so proud) and James Massone. My boy Tony Vincent is in trouble. Hopefully Cee Lo likes his weirdo self as much as I do.

I'm really going to be sad when this show goes to regular old padded episodes where one person gets kicked out. I appreciate the fast-paced qualities of these past two weeks of eliminations. Guest performance, lots of results and actual singing of new songs by the contestants in danger. So much more exciting than watching the likes of Ryan Seacrest torture someone for thirty minutes before telling them they can go take a seat on the world's ugliest couch.

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The Voice

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