The Voice
The Voice

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B- | 291 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The End Is Near

Carson promises this all ends tomorrow. That's nice. Now he introduces Tony Lucca, who was on The Mickey Mouse Club in case you forgot why Christina apparently hates him. I'm wondering if she was into him and he ignored her. There's got to be some kind of story there. And we flashback to see Adam begging Tony to be on his team, and Christina being an asshole for no real reason? Adam thinks Tony's shown the range and insists that Tony can dance. I'm not sure about that. Tony's wife thinks he's ready for this now, more so than he was post-MMC. He's doing a rockier version of Jay-Z's "99 Problems." Is Christina the bitch that ain't one? Let's find out.

It's actually got a Southern Rock feel to it, with a lot of strings and a bit of country flair mixed in with the rock. I bet Blake is going to love it, that is, if he's ever heard this song before in his entire life. He's got a guitar but he spends most of the song stomping around the stage and just posing with the guitar. As for singing, it was fine, it's not like that kind of thing has a lot of range, and I wish he'd actually say bitch instead of pulling away from the mic so it is almost whispered, but it was fun and had a lot of showmanship.

Blake is confused because the word bitch wasn't appropriately articulated. Christina looks bored as fuck, and says it was derogatory toward women (like that hasn't been said about Jay-Z before), but she likes his family? Cee Lo smiles from ear-to-ear and likes that it was hard. Adam explains that the song isn't actually about women being a bitch, but more so that life is bigger than problems with women. And then he takes off his shirt and is wearing a glittery Team Xtina shirt. She thinks he's being real, and starts cheering. Adam says that Tony is great, and ignores Christina screaming like a lunatic despite her claims of being sick.

Christina Milian is backstage with Tony Lucca and his family. She sucks so much, Tony's little son is clearly confused by television. Tony said he almost wore the sparkly Team Xtina shirt as well. And then Christina Milian gives Juliet, Jermaine and Tony some stupid Sprint phone and they all pretend to be excited. What phones have they been forcing them to tweet on all season, if not the ones they are trying to sell?

The Voice

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