The Voice
The Voice

Episode Report Card
Rachel Stein: C+ | 239 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Two Tickets to Bonertown

Carson then asks Xtina for some "THARTS" on Katrina, hahahaha YOU IDIOT! Christina looks too much like the Glam Fairy for me to first listen to what she's saying, but I eventually decode that she thinks Katrina was a little pitchy, but did good. Cee Lo calls it a commendable effort, which means he thinks she sucked especially given that the song was supposed to be cathartic and not a lame showtune on a network TV reality show sponsored by Starbucks. Adam tries to validate using Billy Corgan's art but we have a live show to get too, so he just uses the phrase "rocked it" a few times and we cut to commercials.

Did you watch Best Friends Forever? Did you like it? I liked it!

Here comes Cheesa or @cheesyfbaby if you're nasty. Ewwww, Cee Lo is talking to her in a way that grosses me out, holding his PROP cat while my REAL cat sits on my lap, gnaws on my hair and makes this recap incredibly more difficult to write, because that's what it is like when you have a cat you don't rent for $300 a day. But also, Purrfect is a rescue kitty, so good for everyone involved, I guess.

ANYWAY, Cheesa is singing "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston in the most karaoke way imaginable. I like her strappy red shoes, her sparkly eyes and her natural (I think?) curls are gorgeous, but everything on stage is more exciting than her voice.

Blake says it was like watching solid gold and that it had "Cee Lo all over it." Adam agrees about the Cee Lo-element, but says that she isn't distinct enough to pop out over her competitors. Cee Lo thought it was as wonderful as the black rose pinned to his lapel and no one else gets to talk. Cheesa looks tired and stressed.

Not one person cares about Christina Milian.

Back to Team Adam and former Mouseketeer Tony Lucca, who thinks about the good times he had being less famous than the famous kids he grew up with, and have I expressed how much he reminds me of Glee's Will Schuester? To make up for this unfortunate fact, he is singing the great 'In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel. It sounds very, very bad in practice... gulp.

The Voice

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