Carson's on stage with the six people in danger of being eliminated tonight. When he says that it's Tuesday night and it can only mean one thing, he holds up one finger, like he's a toddler who just learned how to count. I was all judgmental about Ryan Seacrest's big 15-million-dollar-a-year paycheck, but now seeing Carson do this, I'm guessing this hosting business is a mite harder than it looks. Maybe Seacrest does deserve that cash. Then again, Carson hasn't let his live shows run over by 15 minutes yet, so...
Anyway, there are judges and they are all wearing black. Are we in mourning for some reason? Even Cee Lo is dressed super tame. Was there a run on T-shirts at the Gap? We have to sit through a recap of last night, and we get to see Cee Lo's ridiculous performance wig. So there's that. And I won't get tired of watching Pip and James eliminated. It's almost as good as watching Pete Campbell get punched in the face on loop.
But before we get results Florence + the Machine are on doing "No Light, No Light." She's got this ethereal angelic thing going on, but she doesn't have to wear giant wings like Juliet. There are lots of pretty young girls doing some contemporary dancing. This might have worked better on So You Think You Can Dance, but that's not for a month. The three remaining Team Cee Lo contestants are tucked in the back and bouncing up and down... for no good reason.
Team Adam is up first, but we have to look again at last night's performances. Oh, just get ON with it. You know that Cee Lo's going to run over with some giant monologue at the end of the night when he's forced to ax someone, so why pad the show now? Adam tells Carson that he's gotten hate mail and has had people try and kill him for ousting Pip. Who is safe? Tony. No surprise there.
Team Cee Lo. I've almost forgotten about Jamar's performance entirely (the trouble with going first), and I was underwhelmed by Cheesa. So I'm betting Juliet's safe. Cee Lo has been exhausted all day because of his mixed emotions about getting rid of "ladykiller number two" James. Cee Lo claims he's going to trust in America's taste. That's never a good plan. That is how we have Taylor Hicks as an American Idol. Well, I was wrong. Jamar's safe, and Chessa and Juliet are not safe. Good night for the guys.
Still ignoring Christina Milian, no matter how big her hair gets.