The Voice
Live Quarterfinals Eliminations, Week 1

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Wanted: Dead Not Alive

Carson welcomes us back to week 116 of The Voice, and in a refreshing turn of events, Cee Lo is wearing an appropriately ridiculous sequined red jacket. Perhaps it was just at the cleaners last night? Christina forgot a bra, and is sporting a very summery tank top and bouncing around like a loon. Blake and Adam look like Blake and Adam.

Carson says that one person is safe from each team thanks to the voting public, then the two remaining folks from each team will sing a new song and the judges will pick. Maybe Blake and Christina were right to be pissed -- this does seem like they have to do a whole lot of work this week. They can just get drunk or pass out Cee Lo-style next week, to recuperate from all this stress. Carson tells us that The Wanted is in the house to sing with Team Blake, and the audience is freaking out because of the Justin Bieber video premiere. He teases a big surprise, which I'd hazard to guess is Bieber himself. Is that really a surprise?

We get a recap of last night, and see Jordis and Jesse getting kicked to the curb. I'm desperately rooting for RaeLynn and Chris Mann to be eliminated, but I doubt that will happen. Lindsey is the only horse I've got in this race though, now that Tony Vincent is gone, so here's hoping she at least sticks around. Not that I expended any energy to vote or purchase her songs or anything remotely proactive. Blake and Christina try and fail to justify their decisions.

The Wanted is there, debuting a new song called "Chasing the Sun." Thankfully it isn't "Glad You Came." I had that awful song stuck in my head for like three days straight after they were on American Idol a few weeks ago. Carson seems really excited about them, so much so that his introduction of them really reminds me of his days on classic TRL. If I had to pick a current boy band, I'd go with One Direction instead of these guys. These five are just really weird looking, except for that vaguely hot bald one who looks kind of like Puck from Glee (sans mohawk). There are a lot of half-naked girls gyrating around, and these boys mostly walk around instead of making an effort to dance. Say what you will about the quality of music from the Backstreet Boys, NKOTB or *NSYNC or even Bieber, but they do more than just hop around aimlessly. Eventually Team Blake comes out and pretends to sing along with them (though you can't actually hear them), and then we're done with that nonsense.

Oh for chrissakes. Carson is making us look at the performances from last night of Team Christina AGAIN. Do they think we have short-term memory loss? How damned padded is this show? They just showed us these performances less than eight minutes ago, literally. We're only 13 minutes into the episode. Can't they bring back the stupid Wanted or something if they are so desperate to fill time?

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The Voice

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