The Voice
Live Quarterfinals Performances, Week 2

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bad Boys

There's a lot of things on fire, and some miners (mole people?) dancing around with pipes, like a really dirty color guard. He is completely under mic-ed, so either he doesn't know how to use it or there are some volume issues. It's hard to hear him, but he's pouring his soul into it, and I like the slowed down version instead of the big loud rock version.

Adam loved it, and tells us that Jamar was the first person they heard (despite what editing would lead us to believe) and they all feel like they missed out by not spinning around for him. Blake thinks it's great that he's working with Cee Lo and that "It's My Life" was the perfect song for him. Christina is pissed off that the Jamar fans interrupt her blathering to profess their love for him. She eventually says that she's rooting for Jamar even though he's on another person's team. Well, that's very big of her. Cee Lo tells "J-Bird" to listen to the love of the audience. This makes Jamar cry, of course. Cee Lo says that is all because of Jamar's awesomeness, and not because of Cee Lo doing any work.

Christina Milian happened. I want to ignore it, but Jamar's mom is so proud that I almost can look past Christina's terrible interviewing skills. I cannot, however, look past James Massone's fucking headbands. Has no one told him how disgusting he looks? I thought someone would have before we got to this point. He's lying that girls show up at his family's auto repair shop and they all want to bang him. Doubtful.

Katrina Parker talks about how stressful being in the bottom three was 12 years ago the last time she performed. Adam says that she blew him away then, and she can do it again. She's singing "Jar of Hearts," which I loved when Burrito Man from X Factor covered it, so she's going to have to work to really impress me more than that. He had the power of delicious burritos on his side. What does she have? A wardrobe that looks like Adele's? She reminds us of how she was sick, and how she was relegated to cubicle living at work, and begs not to go back to that depressing lifestyle. Even her former coworkers helped her escape, like she was Annie sneaking out of an orphanage in a basket of dirty laundry.

She looks lovely, and doesn't have her hair styled like Adele for a change. Instead it's down and long and very beautiful. That does not make up for the fact that they have her on a smokey stage in the middle of a giant pink neon heart, like she's a three-year-old. Were there no rainbows and ponies available? Or a literal jar for her to stand in that was filled with hearts? Adam keeps his eyes closed the entire time, so he can ignore the look and just focus on her singing. I think she does a good job, but I don't think it will necessarily incite people to pick up the phone and vote for her. And I still prefer Burrito Man's rendition, but that's just me.

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