The Voice
Live Quarterfinals

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Judge-ment Day

Christina admits that he has an amazing voice, but mostly she just wants him to take him off his pants. She says it about twelve times, even though his mother is probably watching, so she must really want him to rip 'em off Chippendale-style. Aim high Christina! Cee Lo, who may have taken several dozen Quaaludes before the show, shrugs and says he has a great voice. Adam starts out his critique by noting that Christina Freakin' Aguilera wants to sleep with him, and that should be enough for any red-blooded American man who doesn't have a fear of wigs and camel toe. Christina says something ha ha funny about Adam wanting to sleep with Blake, which Adam barely bothers to acknowledge. He thinks Patrick did a great job. Blake thinks Patrick is representing Nashville and looking good doing it. Yee haw!

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The last competitor of the night is Frenchie Davis who claims that she has been waiting ten years to showcase her talent and she isn't trifling. She comes on stage wearing a black leather skirt and silver earrings that look like chain mail napkins and not really in a good way, but I guess when you have no hair and an insanely good voice and, good lord, boooobs, you can get away with a bit of accessories misfire. Oh, I have no idea what song Frenchie is singing, but she is amazing and the crowd is going insane even while she sings and then they erupt at the end of the song.

Cee Lo loved it. Adam loves her. Blake thinks she is most powerful singer in the competition. Christina hollers, "FRRRRREEEEENCHHHHHHEEEEEE," like the drunk girl in the back of the bar, or, god help me for admitting I know this, like Frenchie from Rock of Love. Christina loved her. And the feeling is mutual. I would love these two to shack up together. I mean, wouldn't that just prove that all was right in the universe if these two ladies fell madly in love and they could diva around the house yelling at the help? It's a nice image.

Okay, America, now it's your turn. You better get voting, because you can only vote ten times per method per artist, so you better start now and you might have exhausted your options by the time voting closes on June 13th.

Melissa Locker a.k.a Lulu Bates has figured out how to vote with her mind. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.

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The Voice

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