At Carson's urging, Christina shrugs and claims she just wants her team to really get into the songs and sing their hearts out. Blake gets all wide-eyed and wonders aloud about how people have children, because he just cares so darn much about these four singers. Raise your hand if you believe that! Better yet, DRINK! Because you need it for the hard truth you are about to hear: He doesn't think of these people as children. More like tiny little dollar bills floating around the stage helping him build the Blake Shelton brand.
Then Carson explains that The Voice is so technologically advanced that it is some Jetsons-level shit. When it comes to voting, you can text, call, carrier pigeon, robot slave, download a song via iTunes, use morse code, semaphore, "like" not on Facebook, but just in your thoughts, email, scratch on a wall, tap dance, send via pneumatic tube, or just THINK REALLY LOUD and they will register your vote. Suck it, Idol. Then Carson cuts to a woman whose existence I have been ignoring in the hopes that she will GO AWAY: The Voice's Twitter correspondent. She is locked in a V-room, which I don't think is in anyway related to a V-card, but is reddish and there are some people loitering in there looking busy yet confused? She cheerfully explains that The Voice is "blowing up" on twitter and Homeland Security is getting called in. Also, Adam Levine is trending worldwide, she claims it is because of his bitchin guitar solo, but I am hazarding a guess that it is because the world is dumb, tone deaf, and really bored. Or NBC is paying their employees overtime to tweet nothing but "Adam Levine" over and over again. Wait! That's too expensive. Instead they have hired Cambodian orphans to tweet in order to earn clean water. That theory would also better explain the whole "worldwide trending" thing. I mean, is this show even on in Turkey, Uzbekistan, South Africa, and Mexico? No. Let's just blame Germany.
The first contestant for the live rounds of competition is the pint-sized Raquel Castro. Christina has selected the song, "Blow," for her, the youngest contestant in the competition. Also, the only girl who was in Jersey Girl and really wants to win so she can stop putting that on her resume. I think movies that bad stay on your resume for ten years like declaring bankruptcy. She is dressed up in a deflated disco ball of a mini dress with sky-high heels with Gloria Estefan's face (Gloria wasn't using it) and got her hair styled by Christina's wig. Apparently. She sings. She has a team of dancers behind her. At one point Christina heaves herself out of her chair to dance in her seat in unison with her protégé/competition. The judges are all quite impressed. Cee Lo calls her "Little Mama" again, but it sounds less creepy. Especially in comparison to Adam Levine's comment that Raquel has "blossomed." Blake sits and quietly shakes his head before announcing, "Dammit." Which was probably the funniest thing on this show ever. Seriously, the one thing this show is not is a comedy. Like, at all. He thinks lil' half pint blew the competition (that has yet to perform) out of the water. Christina agrees that Raquel is the whole package. She was so good, she even got Christina out of her seat to dance. That takes a lot of effort! Well done, Raquel.