The Voice
Live Semifinals, Part 2

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Semi-s

Carson wants to know if Cee Lo is emotionally wrought over having to cut the wheat from the chaff this week and Cee Lo makes the contractually required head nod, that yes, yes, he totally cares about his team members. They are like children to him and his feelings are real... for the duration of the show anyway. Tori and Taylor Thomsen stare dead-eyed straight into the camera. So who did America choose to move forward? Vicci Martinez. Not surprising, but I had a moment of dread where I though maybe somehow Tori and Taylor would have rigged the vote or used the power of social media and the tween party lines to skew the vote. So phew! Vicci is pleased and Carson tries to make her say something patriotic to thank America for their continued patronage, but she just can't.

So Carson reminds Cee Lo that he has to choose one of the team members to move forward. He hems, he haws, he asks Curtis Grimes, "Where have all the cowboys gone?" He tells Tori and Taylor not to make a voodoo doll of him and stab his itty bitty eyes out, which is pretty reasonable request because those girls are definitely up for the role in the reboot of The Bad Seed, right? They would tap dance you into the grave if you accidentally cut them off on the way to the hog hollering contest. Cee Lo pretends that he has any choice besides the most obvious and most well deserved and then he gives up the pretense and chooses Nakia, because DUH. Then Carson instructs America to bid "Chris Grimes" bon voyage as he sails back to oblivion and then he ignores Tori and Taylor in case they try to pluck a hair from his head as they head off stage. Nakia is overjoyed and gives Vicci a bit old hug and it's nice to see that the actually talented people made it through on Team Cee Lo.

Carson then turns to Adam, because he is next. But first, a refresher: Casey Weston sang a KT Tunstall song with lots of energy, Devon Barley sucked the life out of the song and tanked, Jeff Jenkins sang some chick song for his dead mom and everyone loved it, then Javier Colon sang that song about maimed animals and brought the house down. So who is it going to be America? Dead moms or dead animals? Dead animals, FTW! Super obvious, but well deserved win. He acts humble and surprised, so look for him to break out into acting some time soon.

Carson asks Adam who is joining Javier in the semifinals. Adam asks Carson if he can get rid of him and the audience cheers wildly and Carson glowers at Adam but ever the professional simply replies oh that he would, but it is simply not possible. Adam reminds Jeff that he is jealous of his voice, gives Devon the Most Improved Award, and reminds Casey that she was sloppy seconds. The music is swelling up as Adam rambles on and on and on trying to make a decision. Adam tells Jeff that he was planning on picking him, but... well, something happened and he is picking Casey. Is "something" what the kids are calling it these days? Adam and Casey have a big old hug while Jeff goes to talk to Jesus and his mom about what a dick Adam is.

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The Voice

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