The Voice
Live Semifinals, Part 2

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: B+ | Grade It Now!

As the semifinalists prepare to sing for their supper, I realized that this is the longest that Christina Aguilera has gone without either being on camera or talking on this show. Did she get scolded by the producers (as if, if anyone scolded her it was, like Steven Spielberg or St. Peter or Martha Stewart... I don't know. Who the heck would be bold enough to scold Christina?) for talking all through Adam and Cee Lo's judging last week? Anyway, she sits quietly by as Blake tries to pretend that Xenia is anywhere at the same level as teammate Dia Frampton, let alone stands a chance next to Javier or Nakia or Frenchie. Blake claims that he is emotionally attached to the two girls and he wasn't prepared for that at all and if he knew this was going to be emotionally taxing, he would have asked for more money up front.

It is finally Christina's turn to talk, but she's playing coy and pretends she can't hear Carson's questions. She finally responds to the obligatory "What advice did you give Frenchie and Beverly?" with a breezy, "Oh nothing, they're great. True professionals." So I guess she's in a bad mood? Although her hair looks divine, like a pink's bird's nest that could cradle the egg of a rare bird as it claws back from the brink of extinction. Also, don't yell, but Christina looks skinnier when her hair's up. You can't yell because it's true.

Carson rolls his eyes at her standoffishness and brings out Frenchie to perform "Like A Prayer," which even I know is by Madonna, no Google required. Frenchie spends a lot of time claiming she is nervous and out of her comfort zone, but you know it will be great and why miss a chance to have a dancing gospel choir on stage? These people are not amateurs, you know. Frenchie's performance is pretty good, but the tempo of the song is a little off, like they are trying to let her work in vocal runs when it doesn't totally fit into the song. It's still a solid performance, but every so slightly off. FYI the gospel choir rips off their robes a minute in and starts dancing in suspenders and white tanks, because they are professionals.

Cee Lo loved it and called her his soul sister. Adam loves her and she loves him back and when she said that Cee Lo did... something that caused everyone to stop and stare. And when Adam Levine stops talking to say, "Hey, that's gross," you know you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel of decent human behavior. Sadly, even on the East Coast feed, we couldn't see what it was that he did. I'm guessing hamstering. Blake tells Christina that Frenchie's performance was so good that it was a "big middle finger" to anyone who thought she voted incorrectly last week. Um... raise your hand if you think Christina voted incorrectly last week? Not you Raquel's mom. No one? That's I thought.

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The Voice




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