Not-exactly country artists Cassadee Pope and Cody Belew now sing with Rascal Flatts. Cassadee receives more cheers and applause than that guy who looks like a dad in Rascal Flatts. He shouldn't feel bad though, because this is a very strange, insular bubble. It looks like he doesn't feel that bad, or even like he cares about this performance. I don't particularly care about this performance either, except that it involves the endlessly delightful Cody.
So that happens. The next two safe artists are Dez Duron, who has a portrait of himself growing increasingly more ugly stowed away in his basement, and Cody Belew. Cee Lo tears up with happiness for Cody. Carson begins to rust.
Ugh, Christina Milian tricked Rascal Flatts into her Skybox. She says she's getting her "Bam-Bam" on and for a second I was hoping she said, "Gan-Gam," which would be the closest iteration of the actual song title yet. She asks Rascal Flatts how they met Blake, a question from Twitter, and one of the Flatts makes an inappropriate rehab joke. Christina misses the second comment and then the air goes dead. #RehabJokes. Christina makes a quick recovery attempt with a mullet joke and then asks the four safe artists how it feels. Predictably, it feels good. #TheVoice #Winningisgood
Now, Adam and Team Adam sing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen. Oh man, my aging ovaries are really liking Adam singing some Queen lead vocals. A distracted Bryan Keith is infinitely less cool and successful. It's clear this was rehearsed all of one time, with all the artists meandering around stage and missing their harmonies, choosing an octave to sing in at random. So of course, it is my favorite thing so far. You don't see Adam trying to get his team to sing Maroon 5's newest single. It's too expensive.
"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" experiences the sweet release of death and we're back to the results. Before we heard that performance, America saved Melanie Martinez from Team Adam.
Now, the song we "chose" using our "power" on Twitter. "Thanks," Starbucks. Evidently we wanted to hear "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" from Teams Christina and Blake fifteen minutes ago. I didn't ask for this. It's clear that Dez and Cassadee -- who are safe -- are much more comfortable than Terry and Sylvia. Dez is bordering on annoying, but so is this whole show so I guess it's appropriate.