The Voice
Results Show

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | Grade It Now!
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Total Request Live, Redux

"I think millions of Americans want to thank you and Miranda for co-writing the song that knocked Gongam Style out of the number one spot on iTunes," Carson says to Blake.

"I'm sorry, what was the name again?" Blake replies, and I am unsure of whether he is making fun of Carson, doesn't know the song or is making a joke about how popular his song is now. Carson assumes Blake doesn't know the song in question.

"Gog-num Style," Carson says insistently, "Psy? The number one song in the country." It wouldn't be number one if people didn't love it so much, Carson.

Next, in a "Voice Confessional" that includes the coaches, we learn Christina Aguilera is afraid of the dark, Cee Lo owns "a hundred pair of sunglasses," Blake never washes his truck, Cassadee has a beta fish (oh my god you are so boring why do people like you) and Cody loves when people fall. Cody is my favorite in this, followed closely by Nicholas David, who says people would be surprised to know he is wearing two pairs of glasses and then takes the first layer off to demonstrate.

Other enjoyable moments from the confessional segment include Terry McDermott's impression of John Travolta in Grease, and Cee Lo's deadpan joke about Blake Shelton having gout. Am I glad I watched it? No. Neither is Carson, closing the segment dryly with, "some fun there but let's get to it."

The first two artists saved by the vote of the people are Nicholas David and Cassadee Pope. Nicholas is rocking the white guy samurai bun and Cody looks really nervous. Cassadee was an obvious choice, since she soared above Glonglong Style on iTunes this week. #GompGumStyle

Not-exactly country artists Cassadee Pope and Cody Belew now sing with Rascal Flatts. Cassadee receives more cheers and applause than that guy who looks like a dad in Rascal Flatts. He shouldn't feel bad though, because this is a very strange, insular bubble. It looks like he doesn't feel that bad, or even like he cares about this performance. I don't particularly care about this performance either, except that it involves the endlessly delightful Cody.

So that happens. The next two safe artists are Dez Duron, who has a portrait of himself growing increasingly more ugly stowed away in his basement, and Cody Belew. Cee Lo tears up with happiness for Cody. Carson begins to rust.

Ugh, Christina Milian tricked Rascal Flatts into her Skybox. She says she's getting her "Bam-Bam" on and for a second I was hoping she said, "Gan-Gam," which would be the closest iteration of the actual song title yet. She asks Rascal Flatts how they met Blake, a question from Twitter, and one of the Flatts makes an inappropriate rehab joke. Christina misses the second comment and then the air goes dead. #RehabJokes. Christina makes a quick recovery attempt with a mullet joke and then asks the four safe artists how it feels. Predictably, it feels good. #TheVoice #Winningisgood

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The Voice

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