Cut to some quality time between Blake and his girls. It seems that the coaches are required to try and impress their charges with their fame and fortune, because Blake took his lil ladies to a meet-and-greet where they were given pink camouflage electric guitars, which I guess are a thing that people like? I don't think I could even pretend to like that. Well, maybe if I got full-face Botox and a personality transplant. Then the girls got to meet Brad Paisley, which is almost as awesome a thing as pink camouflage guitars. Then (I know! He really went all out compared to Adam's "accident") he performed in front of a huge crowd in Austin (I could be making that part up) and brought Dia and Xenia onstage to perform with him. So compared to Blake, Adam is really a self-serving dickwad who just views his team as ego boosters. Although, neither of them wrote a poem.
Back on stage, Carson is doing his best to make Dia and Xenia cry. He succeeds. Blake gave Dia and Xenia each 50% of his votes. Carson tries to get Blake to explain it, but Blake just feels like he can't lose. He loves both of those girls and thinks they will each do him proud whoever America, in its infinite wisdom, chooses. America's scores come in and Dia wins, but it's kind of a squeaker. Dia starts crying as Xenia comforts her. Blake comes to join Dia on stage. Despite his best efforts, Carson can't get Dia to talk, so Blake talks for her. As Dia cries, Blake says that he and Dia both know that Xenia is a special girl who is going to be a super star. While he's proud of Dia, it's hard to watch Xenia go. Wow, Blake is really Papa Bear-ing out. It's kinda cute. Before we can start feeling too kindly to Blake, Carson changes the subject to Team Christina.
In the last few minutes of the show, Beverly and Frenchie walk out holding hands. As Carson tries to speed up the process because we are already cutting into America's Got Talent's time, Beverly expresses her undying love for Frenchie. Again. Frenchie just nods. Carson then asks for a few words from Christina, who appears to be wearing a Moulin Rouge cast off and Amy Winehouse's hair. Christina talks incoherently in circles about how they are her girls and they both have so much heart and they can really sing but are also really different. Carson then reveals that she gave each of her team members 50 points or percent or whatever. ...Wait, so every coach evenly split their points except Adam? He is not looking very good on this show and I don't just mean physically, for once. Not only is he revealing that he is a lousy coach, and that he is really competitive, but also that he is just kind of a jerk and can't even fake it for the television audience. Also, Blake, Cee Lo, and Christina have managed to create a real sense of camaraderie and friendship between their teams, but does anyone think Javier and Casey do anything but sit awkwardly in silence next to each other?
Anyway, Carson then inexplicably asks Christina to talk some more. Maybe she is contractually obligated to a certain amount of screen time per episode even when the President of the United States of America rudely rolls over the first ten minutes? So Christina rambles and rambles about how Beverly and Frenchie are unique and different people who just happen to be in a symbiotic bald platonic relationship. Then America's score comes in and the winner is... Beverly. It was close, but not that close. Poor Frenchie, kicked off Idol AND The Voice. Christina gives Frenchie a big red kiss and sends her off to America's Got Talent or something. Beverly looks equal parts happy and sad to see her bald sister step off the stage. As Christina rests her head on Beverly's shoulder, Carson claims Christina has been "Mother Hen" to these two all week, so I guess Mother Hen is a drunk with a love for crimping and leopard print? Christina knows Beverly will do her best next week at the finals. The finals are next week! I would say same Bat time or same Bat channel, but with this show, who the hell knows.
Melissa Locker a.k.a Lulu Bates is going to be a wig on Cee Lo's head in her nightmares tonight. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.