The Voice
Season 3, Top 8, Results Show

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | Grade It Now!
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It's Not Easy, Being Eliminated

Carson is really shining. He's at his best early in the morning, right before he goes to bed at 10 am. Even though it was a silly, meaningless experience, the producers let Carson do it because it made him feel better.

Before revealing the next result, Carson asks Terry where he'll go from here. Terry says he hopes he will not go home from here. America has saved Melanie Martinez, thankfully. Team Adam has escaped yet again, making the score still completely irrelevant.

Whoa, can we talk about this Blake Shelton's Not-So-Family Christmas event that is happening on NBC? First question: why? Second question: did you see the fake turkey fake-beat up Blake Shelton? Third question: How much to buy this on blu-ray?

Singing the ill-fitting "I Hate That I Love You," it's Cassadee Pope and Dez Duron. You can't fake nonexistent chemistry like that, people. I suppose we'd like to see these two get together in a romantic way, though. Then he could call her "babe" too much in public, and she could always be complaining about how cold she is when they go out. They'd have the worst time.

This performance just proves to me that Dez Duron should be going home this week. He's tired; he needs to go to a hospital for exhaustion. He can't commit to what he's singing anymore, he's too worried about where his next meal is coming from.

Carson hauls the remaining five artists back on stage for some more results. Carson asks Dez "what is this moment like?" and Dez gives an appropriately predictable non-answer. America has saved Nicholas David next. Let's see how much more Buddhist he can get. This leaves Cody, Trevin, Dez, and Terry. They can't keep doing this to Trevin, especially right after they described him as "newly-confident." As an American, I will not take responsibility.

Cee Lo offers words of encouragement to Cody and Trevin, knowing that if they are eliminated tonight, he won't have another chance. Christina has already resigned into "it is what it is, no regrets, YOLO" territory. Blake doesn't say goodbye because he has faith.

The next safe contestant is Terry McDermott. Nooooo how can this be? Team Cee Lo was so dominant this week. Carson rushes Dez, Cody, and Trevin, into giving "last words" with ten seconds each. I don't know why he does this. There was plenty of time for that bullshit AM radio segment.

The final safe contestant is Trevin Hunte, leaving two guys with the same haircut to say goodbye to The Voice. Does Christina even need to show up anymore? She is sort of acting like she doesn't need to. She's been acting that way for weeks, though. She just wants to take Dez home so they can watch Liz and Dick.

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The Voice

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