Nicholas David announces that his four-song EP is available now, and he has three little boys in his family now. Carson is really, genuinely excited about this song and Nicholas David's voice, it seems. Like, we haven't seen him like this very much, if at all. Still flustered, Carson introduces another godforsaken Voice Confessional.
I'm so glad that Usher finally referenced his album "Confessions" in this thing. He casually introduces the montage with, "This is Ursher, baby, and this is my confession." Yes! Everyone tiredly pronounces "Ursher" with two r's, and wears their sunglasses indoors to make fun of him. Oh, and Adam has a lot of tattoos. Blake laughs like Santa Claus. Shakira dances with her hips. We sure learned a lot, and we had so much fun, didn't we? I am shaking my head in scorn.
For one of his equally inane questions, Carson asks Sasha what winning would mean to her. She says she wants her children to have a better life than she has had. Carson announces that the first finalist of three is Michelle Chamuel from Team Usher. Michelle looks shocked and perplexed, and continues to look stunned moving offstage and toward the Skybox. Usher looks far less surprised. I wish Usher was my friend.
Christina Milian interviews Michelle, who is still processing being in the finals. I will need some time to process that dress Christina is wearing. It is very daring. Christina says she wants to see everyone's best impressions of the coaches online. They will play the "faves" live at the finale. So, there's something to hang your stupid hat on. Poor Christina, relegated to the Skybox for eternity, living on Twitter, praying for a soundbyte.
Tony Lucca, who's "Never Gonna Let You Go" (or give you up or let you down) is back on stage, representing Team Adam of Adams past. I don't really remember this guy, but that is probably to his career's benefit. He's pretty basic, which is a testament to how far this show has come in talent and repute. Tony Lucca is OK, and so is his little hat. Carson, less excited about Tony than he was about Nicholas, asks what's going on in the life of Tony Lucca. Tony has been signed on Adam Levine's label and will be touring with Maroon 5 sort of ish. Adam says that they're like friends. If he could have friends, if he was capable of love, Tony would be a friend.
Up next, before anything else earth-shattering happens, the Top 5 will sing "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison. This song is one of the few that can be spread thin enough to cover everyone's style and yet no one's at all. This is quite possibly the lamest performance yet. I like the Swon Brothers on it, actually, but everyone else is tired and not feeling it. And why should they? It is not in their contracts that they be enthusiastic about Bret Michaels.