The Voice
Season 4: The Battles Premiere, Part 2

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
U Got Him Mad

Usher chose "Roxanne" by The Police for these two, and I already know in my heart, and from previews, that they will not do it justice. As Josiah sings using just one side of his mouth and body, Usher notes that he is comfortable and used to selling a product, "but that's not what we're doing here." Usher is a hardass and an excellent mentor. Pharrell helps these two stupidheads out by explaining the story of the song to them. Jeff nods and smiles, likely distracted by the magnetic beauty of Josiah's face, hair and stature.

Usher, leaning forward toward the camera in his interviews, says Jeff just has to make a few adjustments to be great. Jeff is not making those adjustments, and sucks at the final rehearsal. The two potato heads laugh about it, for no reason except that they are uncomfortable in the presence of greatness. Usher asks them what's funny.

"Nothing," Jeff giggles like a kid caught with a note in class. "Why are you smiling? Is this funny to you?" Usher asks. Usher did not think it was great at all. As an experiment, Usher has them share one mic to fight more for the attention. Josiah still wins.

The battle begins, with Jeff looking like a chode and Josiah oozing confidence because he is hot. Usher should pick Josiah because he will get more votes just for that face, particularly if the difference between their voices and skill levels are negligible to begin with. I don't like what either of them is doing with their phrasing, and if one of them (Jeff) gets stolen, I will be shocked. Even Shakira didn't think it was great.

"I wasn't impressed," Shakira says, crediting the fact that Sting is an amazing singer. Adam also thought it was flat. Blake didn't think it was too bad. Usher applauds both of them on their hard work and preparation, but admits that there were times when it was "a bit much." Usher says smiling isn't really appropriate for the song, but the girls liked it anyway. The girls in the audience applaud stupidly, forgetting that they're still at The Voice, and Ready for Love tapes in an hour. After that taping is when they'll get their Sbarros vouchers.

Usher names Josiah the winner, and Jeff Lewis is left to plan a Parent Trap with Carson Daly.

I can't believe we're montage-ing Battle Rounds. "Bluntry" singer Grace Askew won against Trevor Davis, who we have seen just about ten seconds of on this season. He wears glasses, if that helps. It was nice not knowing you, Trevor. Grace squeaks into the next round, literally.

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The Voice

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