The first episode of The Voice was so good that Usher gave it four "yo"s and one leg way up. Shakira and Usher make up for Cee Lo's absence, being both thoughtful and cool. Adam and Blake seem like dinosaurs now, still relying on Vaudevillian wisecracks and banter. Oh, and we found the winner. It should be Judith Hill, if the world is still a place that makes any sense.
I know The Voice does Battle Rounds and Knockout Rounds and other fighting metaphors, but do we really need the Pro Wrestling, pre-match scripted scenes too? Before Night Two of the Blind Auditions begins, Adam and Blake discuss "hazing the new blood," then, The Newbies walk in. Instead of going full-blown WWE, as The Voice might as well do at this point, Adam and Blake are cordial and do not haze Shakira and Usher. Glad we all got to see that.
The first singer into the ring is Tawnya Reynolds. There's no way that's the original spelling of her name, unless her parents are too dumb to pick up a baby-naming book. Tawnya complains of how hard it is to make it in Nashville. This is her last stop. I don't know, though, this may not be an acceptable amount of tragedy for The Voice.
Tawnya starts out "Mammas Don't Let Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys," and pretty soon Shakira and Adam are turned around. What is Blake waiting for? Usher, still with his back to Tawnya, offers "I mentor one of yours, you mentor one of mine?" as though that is some kind of deal that one can even make, or that benefits anyone. Blake nods, though, and Usher pushes his button.
Adam tells Tawnya not to focus on Blake, who should have turned around. Shakira argues that she is, next to Blake, the most "country" one there. She might mean from a different country? She thinks playing the harmonica and riding horses is enough to get her by. Then Shakira busts out the prop comedy with a The Voice branded "English to Country Dictionary" that was provided to her by either one of her writers, or someone's lame aunt.
"I reckon that you wanna join Team Shakira," Shakira reads, still adorable, "I'd be much obliged if you pick me." Yup, one of the writers. Even after that stunt, Tawnya should pick Shakira. Adam likes that Tawnya knows who she wants to be as an artist, and Usher and Blake make a case for Usher, but not a very good one. Shakira gets her first country artist.
So far, this much is clear: Usher can't figure out a way to get comfortable in that giant space chair, and Adam is glad it has a cup holder for his Starbucks ™ drink. I'd like Shakira to pursue prop comedy in her coaching, as long as it doesn't involve a variety of fans, each more outlandish than the next.