Janetza Miranda sings next. She grew up in a happy, Puerto Rican family. No evident tragedy. Her family does seem set on making us hate Puerto Ricans, though, as they loudly birdcall at Carson over and over again. Carson doesn't know what to do with that. Shakira might.
Janetza over-sings "Titanium" and the only people loving it are Janetza's family, who are going crazy and birdcalling from the viewing room. Carson tries to get in on it, but can't match the Latin-born enthusiasm.
No one turns around for Janetza, and Adam kicks things off with, "this sucks." Janetza must have heard "you suck," because she starts crying, and Adam makes everything worse by offering her a consolation hug and some advice. Shakira says a half-step down in the key would have helped her, but it was probably just nerves that made Janetza sound sub-par. They all tell her to come back, maybe next season with a better song. Janetza's family doesn't seem to realize that she won't be on this season of The Voice.
Aspiring young country singer Danielle Bradbery is next. She's 16 and cute, and she was teased for having crooked teeth when she was young. Oh, the horror that drives us to sing. She got braces, though, and now she's cute as a button. She sings "Mean," and Blake and Usher turn around. She's quite good, and even though she's a country artist, Adam also turns his chair. Blake feigns rage.
Backstage, Danielle's cousin is having a crying fit. Adam tries to say that Taylor Swift is not primarily a country artist, but she used to be. Usher tries to tempt her with Justin Bieber. Danielle's cousin loses it. Usher accidentally calls Nashville a state, and Adam and Blake won't let it go. I vote for all new coaches every season, get rid of these two jokers.
Danielle chooses Blake, of course, and Blake gloats for the cameras. Just leave. Danielle bursts into the back room and her cousin gets to her first, because she will be needing an ambulance soon.
Up next, it's aspiring R&B singer Vedo. He's planning on singing "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber, to entice Usher to turn around. Vedo's mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and I just want to take 20 minutes to cry about it. If Vedo loses his mom over the course of this show I will lose it worse than Danielle's cousin.
Vedo starts out with a stylized version of "Boyfriend" and the crowd loves it. Usher isn't sure what he thinks yet, and Carson coaxes, "come on, Ush!" from the back room. Oh it's like that now, Carson? You just stand there with your hands on your big, stupid knees, calling Usher "Ush"? No.