The Voice
Season 4: The Blind Auditions Premiere

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: A- | 1 USERS: B
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Confessions, Part 1

Cool as hell, Usher presses his button and winks at the camera as his chair spins around. I am dead with joy and having a crush on Usher and really just being over-stimulated. Usher and Vedo join forces and it will be a good thing.

Christian Porter sings next, and when he was a child he used to just moan and grunt. The doctor said nothing was wrong, and now no one will tell Christian how annoying he is. He performs his cool guy with a guitar version of "Sexy and I Know It." Shakira turns around, and Blake turns too since the crowd is loving it. Usher turns around at the last moment, just to see what the girls were screaming about.

Shakira calls Christian Porter "sexy" and I'm not convinced. Blake compliments the imagination, feeling, and originality. Christian chooses Blake, and I think that's the right choice for him.

And now, a group of singers who didn't get any chair turns: the beautiful Nicole Serrano, the bland James Shealy, and Hunter Elizabeth, whose mom probably told her she's cute. After a blatant Starbucks product placement, we see someone who will probably get some turns.

Leah Lewis was adopted from China, and she sings country. Asian country artist! I love her speaking voice already, so I'm excited to hear her sing. I also love her dad, Fred, who wears a cowboy hat and lots of leather. Leah must be on this show so that Fred can get his own spin-off.

Leah sings "Blown Away," a song I am not familiar with. The judges seem disappointed that Leah isn't quite "getting there." Adam actually reacts physically, and Usher whispers, "so close." Leah doesn't get any chair turns, and I want her and Fred to come back next year. I miss her speaking voice already. Fifteen and that smoky speaking voice? Forget singing; go into phone sex, girl. Oh, but not at fifteen. No, that is a bad idea.

And now, the most shocking audition The Voice has seen in the last ten minutes. The unassuming Kris Thomas sings next, raised on gospel music. Kris used to be signed on a record label, but he had creative differences after cutting his first single. This means that Kris might be difficult. He was an alcoholic after he lost his record deal, fell asleep at the wheel and almost drove into someone's house. He's back on the straight and narrow and might not have creative differences anymore.

Kris sings "Saving All My Love for You" and sounds amazing. He's right up there in Whitney's register, too, so no one suspects Kris is a he. Kris changes "man" to "girl" in one of the lyrics, but the judges don't hear it. Shakira turns around and keeps her reaction to a minimum. The shock on the other three judges' faces is entertaining.

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The Voice

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