The Voice
Season 5 – Live Top 12 Performances

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | 19 USERS: B-
No Shave, November, No Problem

The next artist to perform is Ray Boudreaux, who almost didn't make it. Ray is attractive, though, and talented I suppose. Blake's suggestion for Ray next is that he sing about love. Blake has selected John Legend's "All of Me" and Ray is right to be intimidated. No one can eye-fuck like John Legend and you can sense it even through his music. Blake is more confident than Ray, promising that Ray singing this song will destroy women's lives.

So, with the bar set so high, the performance begins pretty well but not heart-melting or life-destroying. My dog's fart is destroying my life more than this performance right now. Ray is a bit behind the accompaniment and just seems tentative. It's pretty, though, and Ray's daughter is adorable.

Blake says he got wrapped up in it and I think we can all see this playing out with the standard, "gosh dang it you make me look like a homosexual" routine, at which point Adam cuts in and says something about how it's just for him, and we store it away for the Bromance clip reel that will happen on finale night. Anyway, Blake says Ray made a connection and it worked and he's sexy. Christina says that Blake is a little creepy. Poor Ray, it can never be about him. I'm proud of Christina for saying that pitch-wise, Ray's performance did not quite hit the mark.

Up next, it's quite possibly my least favorite competitor left: Kat Robichaud. She's wacky and a loose cannon and she hugs strangers and as a lot of ideas about Who She Is. Cee Lo has been brainstorming ideas to get people to like Kat; Kat suggests bringing back "the rock Kat" as the coaches suggested. They selected by "Sail" by Awolnation. This is probably a great choice, sadly.

Who decided that Kat's thing is short-shorts and/or bedazzled diapers? I am not into this as a trend. I will say, though, this is where Kat belongs: in front of a band, behind a microphone, not out in the audience hugging strangers who got their tickets for free. But as soon as I say that, Kat goes out into the audience and oozes all over them, even crowd surfing in a very orchestrated and planned way. She's pushing so hard that she is like, a whole step sharp. And of course, she ends her performance on her knees on the stage and back out of my good graces.

They cut to a shot of Kat's husband clapping like he just came out of Harry Potter World at Universal Studios. Seriously, how does this make sense? But we can't worry about bow ties and bad haircuts now. Kat and Cee Lo play the Hard Game, where Cee Lo goes at the critique very aggressively and Kat reacts like a white girl who takes herself too seriously. Blake says Kat is like a lion selecting her antelope. They talk about the crowd surfing and Kat celebrates herself. Christina says Kat came to play today. Then my eyes rolled so far back in my head that they stayed that way, and now I can truly appreciate What This Show is Really All About.

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The Voice




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