The Voice
Season 5 – Live Top 8 Performances

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B+ | 10 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Show Biz High School

Adam is the only coach with three artists left, and it's still incredibly likely that a dude will win this thing. Carson has crammed all the contestants into the skybox to make room for Robin Thicke and his loud jacket on stage. Everything on this goddamn stage is shiny and damask print. Confetti falls lazily from the ceiling at the final chorus and the performance ends right before that creature from The Fifth Element can fully descend onto Robin Thicke and destroy him.

James Wolpert sings first, but before that, a clip show of Adam "Sexiest Man Alive" Levine doing a champagne toast with his three remaining artists. They will each get their turn in the sun, as per the clip package requirements. Adam says James always shows another side of himself and Tessanne says he's very supportive. I still think James sucks, as a live performer and as a person.

This week, James chose "Somebody to Love" by Queen. I thought he already did Freddie Mercury? Anyway, we have to hear more about how James and his girlfriend love Queen (wow, how original) and she arranged a version of it just for him. James says his Achilles heel is "over-zealousness." This is all too obnoxious to bear.

The staging is very good on this one, though. James starts in a crowd of James Wolperts (men in tuxedos and glasses), then busts through with that Mercury microphone/cane. James starts out strong, then went a little over-zealous, but I think overall it ends well.

Adam says it was so good James could go out there and sing Queen tomorrow. He says it was fifty times more amazing than in rehearsals and he never lost his way. No one is allowed to disagree, I'll bet. Blake says it was incredible. Christina says she likes the choreography and she felt like she was watching a Broadway show, then talked about how those guys looked like if Adam and James had babies and cloned them. Way to non-comment, Christina, I respect that. Cee Lo says he did such a wonderful job and his timing was impeccable.

Tessanne Chin is next, singing No Doubt. I don't know how this will work, because her voice is a lot richer than Gwen Stefani's. Back to Adam Levine's champagne couch of love, though, Adam has gifts for his team members. It's framed photos of himself, with them in the background, from when they played The Beatles together on the Voice stage. They want to name the band and Adam suggests "Tessanne and the Dudes." His original idea for Maroon 5 was "Adam and the Dudes," but it didn't stick.

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The Voice

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