Cee Lo likes Paulina's quirkiness, but would give it to Dez. Adam thought they were both inconsistent but would give it to Dez for being a bit more seasoned (or for not trying so god damn hard). Blake would give it to Paulina, for having seen the most episodes of New Girl. Just kidding, Blake would also choose Dez. Dez is obviously the winner, but Christina draws it out for a minute. No one steals Paulina, and she floats off stage and back up a unicorn's toot hole.

Team Adam battles next, with Benji versus Sam James. I remember not caring for Benji, because he likes everything fast, but he does remind me of Kevin Gnapoor from Mean Girls, with less rapping and more screaming. I really like Sam James. I don't remember him, but I like him because he seems very chill, and cute, and reminds me of my friend Dan.

Adam chose Bon Jovi for Sam and Benji, allowing everyone in the rehearsal room to keep singing "you give love a bad name," over and over again. Sam is doing well in rehearsals, and Adam warns Benji against screaming the entire song. Benji says it's hard to mix singing with "being yourself," and Benji's truest self is screaming all the time.

The battle begins between the tuxedo jacket and the ill-fitting leather jacket. In the war of unnecessary layering, everyone is putting up a good fight. The song seems to fit Sam better, because Benji is either screaming, racing, or he ain't livin', man. The only loser here is whoever told Sam that jacket fit "well enough." And Benji, I would say Benji is also a loser of this battle.

Wouldn't Christina look nice in a sensible ivory cowlneck sweater? I have a lot of wardrobe complaints tonight. I don't understand why we can't all just order from Coldwater Creek and Lands' End then drink cider in celebration of a long, hard day of catalogue ordering.

Blake thought Benji tried more things, so he'd give it to Benji. Christina was very entertained, and while she thinks Sam is cuter, she likes some yelling and screaming. Cee Lo thinks Benji was the "clear lead" on this one, and doubled the distance. But the only opinion that matters in this moment is Adam's. Adam thinks Benji has one of the best screams he's ever heard, but heard a lack of control in his middle register. Thank you, Adam. He respects that Sam wasn't doing an impression of anybody. The winner, as deemed by Adam, is Sam James. All the white people stood and clapped, and now Benji's friends are going to go race Thunder Road in protest.