Brandon nervously thanks Adam, his eyes darting up to the blank "steal" screens. Adam tells Christina she should have stolen Brandon, and Christina keeps giving that bullshit excuse about putting together "a very specific team," even though the whole does not equal the sum of its parts on this show. She openly admitted she wasn't even paying that much attention to this battle, so there you go. Everyone can go screw themselves.
The battles rage on, this time in a montage of white people. Some white people from Adam's team sang "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum, and the female Lauren was victorious. Two younger white people from Blake's team didn't even look at each other when they sang, and Blake chose Cassadee Pope, because everyone just went nuts for her in the auditions. I'm glad we didn't have to suffer through a full battle segment with her. Then, Adam paired some vest-wearing white guy with that guy who thought people would be surprised to find out he was white in the auditions. The vest-wearer, Joe Kirkland, won that one.
The final pairing of the night is from Team Christina. That's right, Team Blake, you just got montaged right off our radars this time. I didn't even miss you. Devyn Deloera and Marissaann (one word? Is that right?) are supposedly two of Christina's finest, but that's not saying much because I think her team is relatively weak, and mostly full of annoying girls. Marissaann (pronounced Marissa Ann) had a liver transplant as a baby, and Devyn Deloera was awkward in middle school or something.
"I grew up listening to Green Day," Devyn says, reinforcing the lie behind her excitement to see mentor Billy Joel Armstrong. Christina chose "Free Your Mind" for these two, and based on the first rehearsal, I am doubting this choice.
I tire of these battles. Plus, the contestants are starting to look the same. Devyn and Marissssssaaaaaannnnn are virtually indistinguishable to me.
"I am fifteen but I have emotions and I'm just going to have to bring that to the song," the underdog/less-slutty one says. Christina tells the one in the short skirt to back off the runs because "we get it." We get it, Devyn, you still have your original liver. That doesn't make you any better.
This is a time when I wish there weren't so many outfit changes. The Devyn one keeps changing her hair, and it's got me all confused. Not even Jessica Fletcher could solve this mystery.
"I wear tight clothing, high heeled shoes, that doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute," the short, not-slutty one sings. They're sure showing me how to act right. I'm not even sure how the tall one's skirt is staying down. It's just barely covering her chooch, and it doesn't help that the skirt is practically flesh-colored. It almost looks like she forgot to wear any bottoms and is just rocking a shirt and some control-top pantyhose. More power to you, girl.