Suddenly (has it been a few hours? a day? a week? who knows?) it's the night of the battle and the two are walking into the ring. Carson stands in the middle of the ring and announces the match: Tarralyn vs. Frenchie, as if we haven't been paying attention this entire time and instead have been making s'mores over the pilot light again or, you know, opening a champagne bottle with an iron. With no chance to savor the moment, the two women launch into "Single Ladies." Tarralyn takes lead and Frenchie joins in. They take turns as lead singer and back up. If this wasn't a singing competition, I think you would call this a duet. I am certainly no expert, but it seems that the song is kind of a weird match for them, but maybe that's the point? Like Christina feels threatened by these two powerhouse, soulful women so she gave them kind of an awkward song to sing?
The ladies finish and the audience goes wild. You know how I was saying that I had no idea how much time has passed? Well enough time has elapsed that Adam Levine has managed to grow a Rip Van Winkle beard. Oh fine, not Rip Van Winkle, but rather a slightly bushy George Michael. Now, I have no idea if Adam Levine is one of those guys who has to shave twice a day and decide where on his neck he is going to stop shaving because it all blends in with his chest/back hair. I'm sure there is a forum on 4Chan or Reddit dedicated to this with helpful gifs of Levine sprouting as the day progresses, but I am NOT going to look for them. And you can't make me. Regardless, Levine has a beard. That is our benchmark for the passage of time. You would think the producers would ask him to shave just for continuity's sake. So the Bearded One tells the ladies that he forgot this was a singing competition because he was enjoying himself so darn much. (Read: He's super high.) Cee Lo thought they were fantastic, but he's not going to hug them or anything.
Then it's up to Christina to decide who is moving forward in the competition: Tarralyn or Frenchie. Christina has Sia by her side, and I wonder if these extra coaches are there to help make these decisions? I have no idea. They both pretend that they have no idea what to do or who to choose. Then they give the round to Frenchie. This is not really surprising. Frenchie is bald and Tarralyn has a wig. Clearly that was the deciding factor. Also, Frenchie was disqualified from American Idol, so she has a better backstory. So long Tarralyn! At the bottom of the screen they show a tweet from Christina bidding Tarralyn a fond farewell and reminding her that she is very talented, but needs to work on her backstory if she wants to get famous. I mean, what is the point of getting famous if she has no heartbreaking story to tell those harpies on The View?