The Voice
The Battles, Part 2

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V is for Victory

Up first this week is none other than Cee Lo Green. The former Gnarls Barkley singer has once again dressed for success. If by "success" you mean accenting the fact that he is built like a Mr. Potatohead made out of a beer can. You know, like what college boys make during their off hours. Just me? Now, last week Cee Lo paired Nikki and Viki and it was kind of a strange choice because they are both excellent strong singers. If the point of this competition is to win then shouldn't you pair a stronger singer with a weaker singer to improve your odds of having a powerhouse in the final rounds? In fact, one of the judges, probably Levine because his mouth is always flapping, said that Cee Lo should regret pitting those two ladies against each other. And that was accurate.

But Cee Lo didn't learn his lesson at all because this week he is pairing two Austin natives Tje (which is pronounced Tie, just to be annoying or perhaps his parents optimized his name for search engine purposes?) and Nakita both of whom seem pretty awesome and could be serious contenders, except that they are going head-to-head now, instead of later. Also, those two (and maybe Viki) are the only people in this competition that you might actually want to have a beer with. Yes, I am including the celebrities in that assessment. So Tje and Nakia go to the practice room and they meet Multi-Platinum Recording Artist Monica and find out that their song is "Closer," which OBVIOUSLY is not a song I know. And, of course, the show will not help you out by actually telling you the name of the song or the artist most associated with it. [It's Ne-Yo... if anyone cares. - Angel] They just let Cee Lo sort of mumble it to his gym shorts.

Then they head into the ring to compete. As expected, they are both fantastic and Nakia gives it his soulful all and Tje perfectly accents his notes and, while I still don't know what the song is, I am * almost * tempted to google it, which is something. The audience gives them a standing ovation. Adam can't stop gawking at all the hair onstage, which is odd. But then he says he would pick Nakia. Blake Shelton is also Team Nakia. Christina, who is wearing what appears to be the same leopard print dress as before, likes Tje's * ahem * whole package. Multi-Platinum Recording Artist Monica thinks Tje's voice is pretty perfect, but the decision is up to Cee Lo. Carson holds both Nakia's and Tje's hands as Cee Lo weighs his options. His vote? Nakia, the moon-faced hirsute guy who had the stones to sing "Forget You" during the blind auditions. He runs backstage to give his partner a hug. Now Cee Lo has cornered the LGBTQ vote for the live auditions. Excellent strategy.

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The Voice

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