The Voice
The Battles, Part 2

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V is for Victory

Now it is Team Blake's turn to perform like well-trained little monkeys. But before we get to the competition, let's all say really loudly so he can hear us, congratulations to Mr. Shelton who durn got hitched to fellow country crooner, Miranda Lambert, this past weekend. Mazel Tov! May this marriage end better than your last one.

Back to the competition: Blake is pairing newlyweds Josh and Nicole a.k.a. Elonowen versus Jared Blake, father of six. Blake is kind enough to actually tell us that they are singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye. They head back to the rehearsal area to meet Reba McEntire and Blake's falsetto. Reba gives Jared the advice that he needs to make sure to keep some attention on him while the newlyweds steal hearts and hog the mic. When the threesome heads to the ring to practice their, what do you call a duet when there are three people singing it? AWKWARD, that's what. Even Blake doesn't think it is going especially well. He knows that artistically they are extremely different singers, but he wants them to sing a song that is in neither of their comfort zones and then he will judge them on it, probably harshly. I wish he had made them sing Danzig's "Mother" or something more interesting than "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."

Anyway, Jared puts on his finest metal regalia (crosses! leather wristbands! giant silver rings! headband!) and prepares for battle against not one, but two contestants and their mad harmonizing skills. He reminds us that he has been working as a musician for 15 years and has six children. SIX! He needs this. So in the arrangement he gets to start the song and then come in all heartfelt and emoting all over every chorus. The girl mostly stands around looking pretty and wails on a high note. It sounds mostly confused. And not very good? Christina thought Elonowen were great and Cee Lo still kind of wishes they were on his team. Jared won Cee Lo over though and Adam also really liked him. Reba felt that Elenowen were uncomfortable on stage and Jared really owned it. Blake thinks about it and he agrees with Reba. So we bid farewell to Elenowen which is too bad, but also expected. I mean, they were TWO PEOPLE and this show is called "The Voice," emphasis on THE. You can't have two winners, it would be uncouth. Backstage Jared hugs his Tawney Kitaen wannabe wife? Daughter? I don't know. She looks to young to be his wife, but she wraps her legs around him so I really freakin' hope it's not his daughter.

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The Voice




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