The Voice
The Voice

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: C+ | 808 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Creep-y

Then it is competition time and the ladies don their finest...wait, what the heck is Raquel wearing? It's a black nylon sleeveless zipped up jumpsuit with a low slung metal belt, like if Fat Elvis spent a lot of time at the Jersey Shore. She also has a Snooki-sized Bump It on the front of her head. You suddenly realize that despite the abject terribleness of the movie, wee Raquel is still living life as if she was still on the set of Jersey Girl and would be for eternity. It's like the worst Twilight Zone ever. Julia, however, looks pretty cute in her red dress.

Carson Daly's reanimated emaciated corpse stands in the middle of the stage and introduces the little ladies. Raquel wails her little head off and Julia sounds quite... nice. I don't know. They are singing a cover song. They are trying to sound like Rihanna, but they are also trying to "make it their own." The song ends and the coaches weigh in: Cee Lo thought that "little mama" took it, and Blake Shelton and Adam Levine think it was a bit more even of a competition, but they are just being nice and Raquel prevailed. Christina kindly fake hems and haws, but it was all Raquel. And with that, Jersey Shore 2018 has its first contestant.

Next up is Team Blake. He is pitting Dia Frampton (with that name she should be way more metal than she is) versus Southern preacher's daughter Serabee Apparently they have very different singing styles. We know this because Serabee says it, then Blake says it, then Carson says it. They will be bringing their very different singing styles to the Supremes' "You Can't Hurry Love." Blake thinks it is going to be awesome. I don't think anyone else agrees with that statement. The girls head into the rehearsal, do their requisite "Holy shit, it's Reba McEntire!" spittake and then get down to the business of crafting a duet. The girls take a moment with their mentors/coaches and Dia confesses to having a bit of stage fright, Reba tells her to suck it up. Then Blake tells Serabee not to over sing, because it is tiresome.

The Voice

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