Then it is performance time. Kelsey is dressed to the nines in skin tight sequins, while the Thompson (Not) Twins pray to Jesus in the corner and adjust their Delia*s discount dresses before hitting the stage. The song starts and the girls' voices really work together. It's a bundle of adorableness with no sour notes in sight. At the end of the song, everyone claps politely and makes "awwwwwwww" noises like they are watching the cutest LOL cat video ever. Adam won't choose because all the girls are cute and legal and maybe he can get some action. Blake thinks that they were all great, but that Kelsey is more seasoned and he would give it to her. Christina opts for the Thompson (Not) Twins because she is threatened by Kelsey's use of sequins and lack of wig. Cee Lo defers momentarily to Multi-Platinum Recording Artist Monica who doesn't really take a stand one way or the other (Kelsey is a veteran; the girls are blank slates) and then eventually after some very sincere knucklebiting, Cee Lo declares the Thompson (Not) Twins the winners. If we were to think of Cee Lo as some Barney Stinson-style lothario, I would suspect he rejected Kelsey just so she would be broken and he could help her pick up the pieces, if you know what I mean. The Thompson (Not) Twins squeal like gleeful piggies unaware of their fate at the country fair and rush back to their parents to thank god. Then they group hug and make a noise so odd that I rewound four times trying to figure it out and I am just plain stumped. It sounds like a family of kitty cats saying "Rowr." I don't know. Maybe The Soup will explain it?
Carson reminds us that now each team has THREE members and we have only one more week of battle rounds. Stay tuned for Carson to figure out what that means math-wise.
Melissa Locker a.k.a Lulu Bates agrees with Barbie: Math is hard. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.