The Voice
The Voice

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: D+ | 819 USERS: C+
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While You Were Sleeping

Carson asks the judges to weigh in: Reba loved Jeff, Christina loved Jeff, Cee Lo sweated Jeff hard, but Blake and Adam 2 liked Casey. To build the drama they cut to commercial. Then Adam chooses Jeff and any drama that was building is crushed like a loose M & M on the Autobahn. Carson reminds us that Adam's team for the live competition is now complete. Casey Weston, Javier Colon, Devon Barley and Jeff are all getting their tattoos of Bart Simpson holding up "Team Adam" signs.

Team Blake is next to storm the arena. Except that the two remaining contenders are two extremely shy girls, one of whom I have absolutely no recollection of, like, at all. Apparently she sang "Imagine"? Maybe this happened while I was banging my head in the car door over and over again to avoid watching Adam Levine gesticulate and talk simultaneously. This girl who apparently exists will be competing against Senya, whose name I am undoubtedly misspelling (would it kill them to get a title card up in this joint?) a sweet sixteen year-old who sings with the smoky soul of the Marlboro Man. Blake wants them to sing "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders, which is actually fitting and appropriate. Take note, Adam, he doesn't make them sing either "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Paranoid Android."

The girls ooh and aah over Reba McEntire (who may have gotten some mid-show Restylane injections, because she is looking quite er... refreshed) and then get down to the business of learning how to properly sing a cover song. I hope these girls (ages 16 and 18) will be sure to include this new skill on their college applications. Since when was doing great covers of other peoples' songs such a great skill or indicator of talent? I mean, what is the difference between that and karaoke? I have spent some quality time in talent-filled karaoke bars in Eastern Massachusetts, so I definitely know what I am talking about.

The Voice

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