The Voice
The Battles, Part 4

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While You Were Sleeping

This week, Adam "Are We Talking About How Quirky I Am Yet?" Levine starts the competition. Despite the fact that there are only two people left in the room, he does a very thoughtful and thorough analysis of why he wanted to pair Jeff and Casey. While he doesn't say it, it is clear that the reason he coupled them together is because they look absolutely hilarious standing next to each other. The two of them standing there is actually funnier than the entire last season of "How I Met Your Mother." Girl, you know it's true. That show was lame last season. LAME. Shut up, Ted.

So Jeff is a great gallumphing small town boy in big britches and a Little Lord Fauntleroy haircut with a beautiful voice that caught the attention of all four judges during the blind audition. Casey, on the other hand is a wee jalapeno of a lass with neon pink hair and an electro-clash aesthetic. You would be hard pressed to find a stranger pairing. Adam announces that he has hand selected an appropriately incongruous song for the odd couple to sing: Elton John's "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me," which is as dirty as it sounds. They both make very understated Whee! faces, because that is the worst song ever for both of them. Perhaps their dislike of the song will bring them together as one?

The duo heads to the rehearsal space only to find that Adam has brought in Maroon 5's musical director, Adam 2, just for them. Not really, but everyone seems to be pretending that this is the case, so I guess I'm getting on board with it. Then Adam Levine sings a few bar of the songs to both prove that he can in fact read a song, and to set the bar extremely low for the other two singers. Jeff and Casey nail it in about twelve seconds. Adam and Adam give the duo some vague, inutile advice that does nothing.

Then it is the night of the battle. Casey has Bump It'd her hair to extreme heights (the higher the hair, the closer to god, right?) and is dressed in skintight leather pants and a white blazer. Jeff is dressed in waiter casual with a black button up shirt, black slacks, and a jean jacket. He reminds us that his mother is in heaven watching him right now, so he can't fuck it up or else she will haunt him for all eternity and he will have even less chance of going to prom. Oh wait, he's famous now, he's totally going to prom and getting to second (at least!) The song swells, the notes crescendos, Adam stares unblinking at the performers. As the song ends, you can tell Adam is going to pull one of his "I can't decide" moves that he has made for the last three weeks.

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The Voice

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