It's the final week of battle rounds. THANK GOD. Seriously. I was beginning to think this show would never end. Also, I'm tired of seeing these same damned clothes and would like to get to the live shows where Christina can shock me with more ridiculous fashions. And I'm tired of the false pretense that this took place over weeks. Why the need to be so needlessly dramatic? I blame Carson Daly. That man needs to have something to fill his time, and if it weren't for his voiceovers, he'd be largely irrelevant to this portion of the show.
First up is Cee Lo, and he's pitting James Massone (the body work guy) against Wade (who did a Motown version of "Rehab"), and he gives the "young and ambitious" boys "True Colors" to sing. James from Boston doesn't even know the song that well. James has his hair in a stupid headband and I hate him so much at the moment. And then he forgets the words to the song during the rehearsal. Cee Lo kindly tells him to just practice and learn the song. I'd be less forgiving. And I'd rip that stupid headband off.
James gets to work with Ne-Yo, which makes James Massone nervous. James thinks that he's lacking in self-confidence, that's a problem. I realize that I also hate his whiny boy band voice. So... go Team Wade? Speaking of Wade, he's delivering in front of Babyface. Babyface thinks that he's got a bit of Al Green/Luther Vandross going on, and that's unexpected because he looks so young. Cee Lo relates to this kid, because he feels the soul of the song. During the final on stage rehearsal, Wade pretty much eats James alive on stage. Could he please physically stomp on him as well? Cee Lo is moved, and starts crying during rehearsal and is upset to have to get rid of either of them. Cee Lo also admits that he can't really sing as well as either of these guys, but I think we probably already knew that from listening to his music.
I just realized that the entrance to the theater looks remarkably similar to the space they use for Hell's Kitchen, but with that big stupid fist with the peace sign and a mic. I guess all giant studios must have the same look. Wait, WADE, isn't using a last name and spells his name WADE? I was rooting for him. Now I'm rooting for the giant fist to come crashing down and snuff out both of them.
Is Adam trying to sabotage Cee Lo? Why else would he say that James had the more appealing voice? James sounds like Zac Efron before the Auto-Tune. [Note: I was thinking his voice was a dead ringer for the late Jason 'Q.T.' McKnight's from 2gether. -- Rachel.] Bieber sounds better than James. Hold on, now Blake thinks that James won this too? Much as I hate WADE spelling his name like an acronym when it isn't, he's the better choice. And X-tina thinks that James had a stronger voice too and that WADE was pitchy. These guys must sound so different in the studio. Cee Lo likes that James came out cocky and confident and that WADE sounded nervous today and didn't go all out. Cee Lo stalls with his decision, and the audience all starts screaming out, "Say It," like they are at a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and he finally picks Justin. WADE says he's grateful to have had the chance to work with his idol, Cee Lo. Cee Lo and his loaner kitty are sad to see WADE go.