Up next is a super blonde girl named Elley Duhe. She's 19 and has devoted her whole life to music, and skipped school for gigs, and even dropped out before her senior year and her parents encouraged it. Great job, parents. She gets up on stage and does some really awful dance moves (good thing the judges can't see her). She's performing "Mercy" and it's a whinier more '60s sounding version of the song. Who knew this song could be more annoying than when Duffy sings it? The longer this goes on, the more I dislike her nasally voice, and the judges agree. Everyone sighs about how cute she is, like they just collectively kicked a puppy. Adam compliments her last note (which is generous) and doesn't come right out and say that if the rest of the song didn't suck so much he'd have chosen her, but he insinuates it. Christina tells her she's only 19 and life goes on and to stay positive. She goes backstage to her parents, and maybe now they'll realize that letting her drop out of school wasn't the best idea in the world.
Bowtie-wearing Pip (yes, full name) unsurprisingly does a lot of musical theater and has a love of suspenders and untied shoes. Can he trip and fall going out on stage? I already hate so many things about him. And he's singing "House of the Rising Sun," which is a song that I love and he sounds actually pretty good. Maybe we could have played along with that blind audition here, and I wouldn't have been predisposed to despise him. Maybe I should start watching this entire show with my eyes closed. Why the hell does he have to call himself Pip? All four judges turn around for him and his family flips the fuck out in the backroom.
Blake tries to sell him on the fact that his team is mostly women, he also thinks Pip's name is cool. What crack are you smoking, Blake? Adam compliments the stupid bowtie, and he was expecting someone totally different when he turned around. Yes, someone who isn't an obnoxious hipster. The judges compete for attention, except for Cee Lo, who sits quietly. Maybe he really is sleeping. Pip picks Adam, with the reasoning that Adam was the first one to turn around.









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