The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 4

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 12 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Experience Music Elsewhere Project

Sam Cerniglia is the next contestant to audition and there must be some kind of advertising agreement that allows some people to say where they work (Sam works for Groupon) and some people not to (that guy who worked at "a bagel shop"). Anyway, Sam's two sisters both have serious diseases. His younger sister has cystic fibrosis and his older sister has Batten disease, which causes one's brain to shrink slowly and inevitably. Holy shit, that is so sad I won't even point out how weird and different Sam looks in all those old photos of him with his sisters.

Carson asks Sam's family how they stay so strong, more as a passing courtesy to allow him to show this video message from Sam's mom and older sister on a Sprint device. I don't want this show to make me cry, especially in the context of a Carson Daly/Sprint manipulation. Sam had better be good, or all of this will be for naught!

Sam, auditioning with "It's a Beautiful Day," turns out to be a kind of growly crooner. He starts out a little nervous but really gets into the swing of things, no pun intended, by the chorus. I'm not sure this show knows what to do with crooners just yet, but surely Michael Buble will return as one of those half-mentors and could help. Blake and Cee Lo push their buttons, maybe without even knowing Sam's story. Blake compliments Sam, and Cee Lo discovers the fight within himself to state a case. Cee Lo tells Sam he sounded like the perfect gentleman. Swayed by the magic words "Michael Buble," Sam chooses Blake as his coach.

"I'll definitely be callin' Buble and askin' him the right things to do for an artist like that," Blake confesses. It's sweet that they're on a last name basis with one another.

Next to audition is Jennifer Newberry, who is from Sweden and has one of those cool Swedish haircuts and basically I want her to be Robyn. Jennifer is currently living in Seattle and the Northwest is really representing this season. The Northwest and Sweden, of course. Apparently the only jobs for singers in the Northwest are shitty ones, as Jennifer was working in casinos for a while. Casino people are everyday cruise people, basically. What happened, Seattle? You were so good for music in the ‘90s.

Alright, Jennifer, show me love. I know there's more to Sweden than Robyn but at this juncture I don't care. I'm sad that Jennifer chose "Locked Out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars for her audition song. First of all, it's not Robyn, and second of all, it's consistently sharp. We see a close up of Cee Lo's hand hovering over the button, which could be from any time, or just stock footage. No one turns for Jennifer, but when all is said and done the coaches assure her that she's beautiful and is a good singer, etc.

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The Voice

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