At least Christina feels me -- when it's time to talk, she says that she was smooth starting out and but lost it. The guys boringly go through their thought process for hitting the button in front of them, until Adam points out that he would encourage her to go away from the Adele-wannabe voice and focus on her low pitch. Blake says pretty much the same and then we find ourselves in the midst of some premature ejaculation jokes. Voices from the audience are indiscriminating shouting out which judge she should choose, like this is the fuckin' Price is Right or something. Lex chooses Blake, and Adam acts goofy about it.
Blake, Adam and Cee Lo have one open spot each, and Christina has two. Carson is going to Los Angeles to scout/talk to a hopeful blues singer 25-year-old Orlando Napier. HAHAHA HE CALLED CARSON, "CARSON DASON!" And Carson's smiling like a friggin' idiot. This is his Jennifer Love Hewitt breakup allllll over again.
Okay, instead of Orlando we're instead going to hear from 27 (or 28? Whose information do we trust?)-year-old Cameron Novack first. He sounds like an Andy Samberg character and doing some truly terrible freestyle rapping. Ugh, and now he's singing opera. And telling us how great The Voice is. I miss Orlando.
Ew, he's singing a creepy rendition of "You Oughta Know." I'm scared! I was already grossed out by this song when I learned it was about Uncle Joey. I hope no one turns around, as he's doing such heavy karaoke pointing that the ladies of Drag Race would eat him alive. Sashay away. My boyfriend is laughing out loud at his very essence.
The judges are like, dude, you are a freak and ask his name. He tells them it's "Novocain" and insult rap battles them, like this is MTV's Yo Mamma. Cee Lo is filled with regret. Everyone is chanting, "CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!" But that's not allowed because... I don't know. I just don't know.
Cee Lo's cat is disappointed in his human companion's choice, as are Novack's loved ones.