The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 5

Episode Report Card
Rachel Stein: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Swing Low

Anyways, blah blah blah we are all excited, America give it up for this vocalist. Her family's excited but Kitty Cee Lo is visibly chagrined. One spot left in Lo-Town.

No, Christina Milan, I will not check out @NBCTheVoice on Twitter.

So Adam and Cee Lo have one spot left on their teams and Blake and Christina have two. Tennessee resident Preston Shannon is 64-years-young and quite dapper in a pinstripe suit. He says he needs training, and he's interested in the blues. He has no intention on giving up on his dreams.

He's playing his own bluesy guitar as he jams out to "The Midnight Hour." It's a fine but in no way spectacular performance, and I have little confidence that anyone will turn around. Blake makes crazy eyes, and no one goes for him. They talk about his "cool" guitar strap and drag this out to fill our two-hour timeslot. Cee Lo calls him "real," and they all are impressed by his age. I appreciate that this show doesn't pretend that someone who's 64 would ever win this, like X Factor does. Aw, his family's sad.

Lex Land is 24 years old, from Texas, and looks like Mae Whitman when she played Ann Veal on Arrested Development... her? She's nervous, but when she starts singing "I Can't Make You Love Me" she has that smoky singer voice that so many young girls use right now. Cee Lo and Adam turn around at pretty much the same time, and I seriously don't get it. Blake turns around! Her brothers (who have really huge facial features) cheer her on and play with their rings anxiously -- just like she does! That's cute. I just do not get the love for Lex. She's totally flat.

At least Christina feels me -- when it's time to talk, she says that she was smooth starting out and but lost it. The guys boringly go through their thought process for hitting the button in front of them, until Adam points out that he would encourage her to go away from the Adele-wannabe voice and focus on her low pitch. Blake says pretty much the same and then we find ourselves in the midst of some premature ejaculation jokes. Voices from the audience are indiscriminating shouting out which judge she should choose, like this is the fuckin' Price is Right or something. Lex chooses Blake, and Adam acts goofy about it.

Blake, Adam and Cee Lo have one open spot each, and Christina has two. Carson is going to Los Angeles to scout/talk to a hopeful blues singer 25-year-old Orlando Napier. HAHAHA HE CALLED CARSON, "CARSON DASON!" And Carson's smiling like a friggin' idiot. This is his Jennifer Love Hewitt breakup allllll over again.

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The Voice

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