The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 5

Episode Report Card
Rachel Stein: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Swing Low

Okay, instead of Orlando we're instead going to hear from 27 (or 28? Whose information do we trust?)-year-old Cameron Novack first. He sounds like an Andy Samberg character and doing some truly terrible freestyle rapping. Ugh, and now he's singing opera. And telling us how great The Voice is. I miss Orlando.

Ew, he's singing a creepy rendition of "You Oughta Know." I'm scared! I was already grossed out by this song when I learned it was about Uncle Joey. I hope no one turns around, as he's doing such heavy karaoke pointing that the ladies of Drag Race would eat him alive. Sashay away. My boyfriend is laughing out loud at his very essence.

The judges are like, dude, you are a freak and ask his name. He tells them it's "Novocain" and insult rap battles them, like this is MTV's Yo Mamma. Cee Lo is filled with regret. Everyone is chanting, "CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!" But that's not allowed because... I don't know. I just don't know.

Cee Lo's cat is disappointed in his human companion's choice, as are Novack's loved ones.

ZOMG It's CGI Zac Efron! And CGI Betty White singing, "Let's Get It On"! The Lorax is judging. I hate myself.

Back over to Orlando Napier, who used to be a badass but now he's off of his ten-year partying bender. He went to jail and everything, and now he's cool with his interesting scarf-wearing dad. His sister is cute and I love her dress!

Aw, he's playing the piano and I like him, I think. Adam immediately hits his button in defeat within the first few beats of "Waiting for the World to Change." He's jazzy and sweet and incredibly infectious... speaking of which, it's fantasy suite tonight on The Bachelor. Let's watch that later. For now, enjoy the smooth stylings of Orlando, one of my favorite voices on the show so far.

So only Adam turned around, making his co-judges total suckers. Blake's all, "Gosh golly gee, mister!" and lets Adam talk about how he instantly fell for Orlando's timing and smoothness. He's on Team Levine now, who is the first coach to fill his team of 12.

Quick recap of Team Adam: The former Mouseketeer who is not famous Tony Lucca, "L.A.'s own" Angel Taylor, pop-soul artist Chris Cauley, insurance worker Katrina Parker, Adele-singing Mathai, shy Nashville artist Karla Davis, surprisingly good Pip, other vaguely memorable people Nicolle Gaylon, Nathan Parrett and Kim Yarbarough, then Whitney Myer from earlier tonight and now Orlando Napier.

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The Voice

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