The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 5

Episode Report Card
Rachel Stein: B+ | Grade It Now!
Swing Low

Adley's singing "Last Name," and she's actually kind of right in between Christina's soulful holler and Blake's... being a country artist. No one is touching their button. She's not particularly bad, but I've heard this voice a million times before -- kind of a poor man's Heather Morris, sort of. Oh man, both Blake and Christina turn around at the same time!

They duke it out a bit and Blake admits that he is a total zombie poser and only turned around when he says Christina push her button. Christina babbles on about chops and Blake charmingly says he's literally going to drown her. They continue to talk, and can we get this show on the road? Purrrfect the Cat has people to see, mice to chase. Adam chimes in for unsolicited advice to "non sexually" say how much he loves Blake and they do that homosexual banter they enjoy doing. She chooses... Commercials. Fuck you, Show.

"This is The Voice!" Recap, recap, recap, okay she's going with -- telling Christina that she loves "Lady Marmalade" but deciding to join Blake.

Blake's completed team: First artist RaeLynn, Erin Willet, Alicia Keys' background singer Jermaine Paul, ALyX (barf), Jorgan Rager, Gwen Sebastian, Naia Kete the reggae girl, tonight's Lex Land and Jordis Unga, Charlotte Sometimes (these names), Brian Fuente and Adley Stump.

And now, many losers Christina didn't chose: Lame powerhouse Beta who Christina refuses to be typecast with, also powerhouse Aaron Gordon, third powerhouse Lana Lowe... who I think had braces. It looks like she is going to make a choice tonight, so no bringing back the losers this year.

No, The Lorax, I'm not falling for another commercial. Okay, I like Danny DeVito. He's talking to the Lorax... who is also him! Oh dear.

So far, Team Christina is: single dad Jesse Campbell, Monique Benabou, Ashley De La Rose, The Line, Jonathas, Anthony Evans, opera artist Chris Mann, Moses Stone, Geoff McBride, Lindsey Pavao and Lee Koch. This looks like the weakest team yet, just sayin'.

We meet 24-year-old Sera Hill, who has been featured in promos for tonight's episode, so this should be promising. She's nervous and Christina is her favorite, natch.

She beautifully belts out "I'm Going Down." It's soulful and lovely and Christina turns around. This is a nice way to end the auditions -- and oh man, Christina is going to sing with her! Her voice is so good! How is it even that good? Sera gives her a run for her money, but like, obviously Christina is better. Still, this is heartwarming since you just see how freaking excited Sera is right now. She's crying! I'm not crying, because it's not like I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance.

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The Voice




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