The Voice
The Blind Auditions Premiere, Part 2

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B+ | 6 USERS: A
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All Eyes on Adam

This season is all about Christina Aguilera's comeback, I'm calling it now. There might be a couple likeable singers, but this is all about the Bionic Woman. She's back with new life and a newfound feminism. So far Christina and Cee Lo have two artists, Blake has one and Adam has three, as though it mattered. But yeah, tabulate your scorecards at home.

Backstage, the coaches have a "candid" moment with Carson Daly. They all say it feels good, and while Christina spoke, Adam pushed a rose into the frame/her face. Christina asks if it is now "the Blake Shelton show," because she was too busy to watch the Summer season, you know? The coaches confirm that, yes, it's all about Blake now, and his struggle to hide some very serious battles with addiction. Well, it's less about that for most people, but not for me.

Sixteen-year old Jacquie Lee from Jersey is up first. She's very cute and little and looks like she could get lost in the fray of the teenage girl singers on this show. Oh, and she hauls her Casio into the hospital and sings at sick kids on the regular, or at least for this segment. She's singing "Back to Black," which is a very emotionally charged song for a 16-year old to take on.

Upon hearing the tinny introduction to the track, Adam is all, "yeah!" and claps his hands together like a dad. She has a good voice, but this song choice bothers me on a lot of levels. Christina raises her hand and dangles the other over her red button, finally pushing it. Blake follows suit, just to get in the mix.

Adam throws his sway toward Christina, after Cee Lo tells Jacquie he wants her boots. He wishes they made those boots for dudes. Later, Cee Lo interrupts with "you get those boots from Aldo?" and it only adds to the delight of the judge conversation. Christina digs Blake a little, Cee Lo takes a picture of the boots. Jacquie picks Christina, because she's not a fool. She wasn't born yesterday, she was born 16 years ago. It's going to be the Christina show, now, not the Blake Shelton show. THANK YOU, OUR LADY CHRISTINA.

After a little Chicago Fire cross-promotion from Carsonbot and "fans of The Voice," it's time for Barry Black to audition. He's Samoan but dresses like a white guy. He taught himself to play the guitar and is in a band but he's ready to break out, much to the likely chagrin of his band.

Barry starts his performance out doing his little flugelhorn trick, then transitions into his smooth ‘90s white guy voice. The arrangement is pretty smooth, though, and Barry sounds really great. Adam and Blake turn their chairs for Barry and Cee Lo strongly considers it. Adam says he turned around because he just wanted to know what the hell was happening and Blake says he turned around because he thinks Barry is a great artist. Nice move, Blake, you're not as dumb as you want us to think you are.

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The Voice

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