The Voice
The Knockouts, Part 2

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Carla Sparks: C | Grade It Now!
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Knocked Out and About

The Knockout rounds only have this week to fit into The Voice's schedule, and I'll be honest, I'm a little miffed that they're running a two-hour episode on the night before Halloween. It's cutting into my last-minute dog costume-making time. I do feel for the people on the East Coast, though, for whom a hurricane has all but destroyed dog costume-making time.

Team Christina and Team Blake duel internally tonight, in the lightning round-esque Knockouts. The coaches continue to reiterate that song choice is key. I think memorability is key, as I have already forgotten at least half of these contestants. The first pairing comes from Team Christina: Devyn Deloera versus Laura Vivas. I don't remember Laura very much at all, but I remembered how to spell Devyn's name. It is not helping me that Devyn keeps changing her hair every time we see her. Stop it.

Devyn picked "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston because she would have nothing without the show, she says. She is obviously deeply connected to this song, and The Bodyguard. No, she is not, and shame on anyone who defiles any of the moments I treasure in that super-long movie. Christina "coaches" Devyn on whether or not to move during her performance. They elect not to move, but keep some gesturing; it is a true coaching moment.

Laura Vivas, who is obviously going down in this battle, chose "I Need to Know" by Marc Anthony. She chose it to show her "Latina-ness." Christina coaches her to go with it and dance a little salsa sometimes. Laura is clearly done for.

Devyn sings first, with a less-than-Whitney rendition of "I Have Nothing." That is a big song, little girl. And it brings Devyn to her knees, which I'm not sure was part of the coaching or completely inspired/unintended. Then, Laura sings that song that was never meant to be performed in this capacity. Terrible song choice, Laura, but I'm sure the coaches will like that you are singing some of the lyrics in Spanish. She keeps furiously salsa dancing, and the whole thing just makes my taint hurt. In a bad way.

The coaches say nothing of worth, noting that obviously, Whitney Houston is an amazing legend. Christina goes with Devyn, and we all forget to care.

The next Knockout pairing is Adriana Louise and Celica Westbrook. They are both, allegedly, powerful pop singers, but we know nothing of Celica, aside from her unfortunate name that reminds me of gel packets. Adriana chose "I'm Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. Christina very casually schools Adriana, telling her how to sing every last drop out of the song, then goes back to neutral, adding, "it will be a really powerful moment if you do that."

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