Blake reminds Michaela that he is the only person who turned around, which seems to sober her up a bit. Don't worry, he doesn't know what he's saying. Neither does Christina Milian.

Julio Cesar Castillo sings next, and I wish he would hurry up and get eliminated. Julio is going back to his mariachi roots, so that's one more thing to make this show seem twice as long. It's even weirder that Julio is dressed like a Mexican vampire. I do not know how to judge this performance, and I guess I'm glad it's not my job. The crowd went wild, because the coaches did, I guess.

"Obviously a fan favorite so far," Carson says boldly, then hands it over to Christina who says he made "all the Latino people out there so proud." Not that Christina is proud to be Latina anymore, but I guess she snuck a "we" in there. Blake is happy that everyone else liked this thing he did not understand at all.

The New York wedding singer we don't know at all, Lauren Allred, still has something to prove to Adam. Lauren chose "All Around the World" from her wedding repertoire. I don't think this song was a good choice, nor was that dress. But this is coming from the team of old hole-shirt Adam, so ... Lauren seems nice enough, but this performance needs a breakout moment and it isn't quite there. Adam pretends it happened, though.

Closing out the night is Amanda Brown. She can potentially move this episode from a D to a C. She is a true contender. She is fun and professional and hot. She chose "Dream On" and Adam is like, "maybe next time with more holes in your shirt." I don't even want to know what he paid for that awful thing.

Amanda is, of course, awesome. She's really feeling the song, and showing her potential as a rock artist. Best vocals, best performance, best everything. This is what it's about, and this is why we stay up for two hours that feel like three.

"Get it, girl," Christina says, halfway into her sleeping bag. Adam rubs it in Cee Lo's wig-covered face a bit, and declares it the best performance of the night.

Two more nights of this inanity this week.