There are no more instant saves, Carson finally announces. He introduces the coaches and only Adam is being normal. Cee Lo pretends to talk on the phone, now that he's so checked out, and Christina pretends to be on a computer because now she, too, is somewhat checked out and will be even harsher than ever on Cole Vosbury and the unstoppable Team Adam. Blake is wearing a fake beard, presumably in support of Cole.
The Top 5 Semi-Finalists open up the show with "The Best Day of My Life." Will and James start it off by basically yelling at us. Tessanne and Jacquie sound good together. I don't have an opinion on Cole except that I might be in love with him. It's all happening so fast. Christina watches this group performance, bored as shit and almost mocking its simplicity.
How long can/will Blake keep that beard on? Only time will tell his commitment to this bit. Carson says only three contestants will move on to next week's finals, making this a crucial moment for the Top 5. He urges us to "pay close attention." What we need to pay close attention to, I couldn't say.
James Wolpert, who created the robot that saved him on Twitter last week, performs first. Adam says he has "big plans" for James. Great. The first of those plans is to invite James and the rest of the team to breakfast. Adam confronts James about his sickness and almost going home. James makes a joke about death. Everyone else at the table blows smoke up his ass, saying this new song will move people to tears. This week, James is doing "With or Without You" by U2 which is "one of [Adam's] favorite songs ever." Is anyone keeping a list of all the songs he has said that about?
So this week, James is doing his best Bono impression. That's the part of this show that doesn't quite work; it crafts cover artists that don't always translate to their own people. That's something The X-Factor does better. James walks around on stage through screens of ink patterns or WinAmp animations. Usually I'm the first to dog James for pitchiness and disconnectedness but I really think he handles this song well. It sounds great live and he hits the big moments with the proper amount of strength.
The audience goes wild and Carson tells them, "hang on a minute, guys." Yeah, make way for Adam's pompous babbling, masses. Adam says he doesn't even care about the competition because he knows how incredible that performance was and it's beyond what he thought James could do. Christina's all, "yeah I love that song, it would have been fun as a coach performance but I was happy to hear you sing it anyway." Blake agrees that he loves the song and James may have dug himself out of the hole.