West Wing
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Episode Report Card
Grunt! Cheer! Stomp!

Leo, Will, Josh, and the Hoynes guy walk to one end of the room. Leo tells them they'll do rock, paper, scissors on three. This is so unrealistic. Everyone knows you're supposed to say "one, two, three, shoot!" (Although I have a very distinct childhood memory of other kids in central New York saying "eins, zwei, drei, shoot!" Which, I don't know -- none of us were German.) And then they shoot. Josh and Will both go for rock, while the Hoynes guy throws paper. Consider yourselves covered, boys.

Josh, Santos, Helen, and Ned are walking through the bowels of the convention venue. Santos wonders how it came about that Hoynes is speaking last, and Josh has to explain the mechanics of paper covering rock. They walk past banners of what I assume are teams that normally play in this stadium. One is for something called "The Stompers." I'll claim that as a shout-out on Miss Alli's behalf. There's another banner for a team called "Damage." Those names seem unusually violent to me. Of course, I got part of my education at a school where all the teams were named "The Violets," so I suppose pretty much anything outside of the flower family might seem violent by comparison. Santos is wondering why Russell hasn't announced that Bundy is his Veep choice, and Josh thinks they're trying to put more distance between the rumors of Santos rejecting Russell and the announcement of Bundy. I guess Bundy doesn't want to be known as Russell's rebound guy. Josh thinks they'll announce after the first ballot and before the second in an attempt to pick up some Hoynes delegates. Helen doesn't sound too unhappy at the thought -- she'd rather not give a speech in front of twenty-five thousand spectators. Santos points out that it's more like twenty-five million. Way to soothe your wife's nerves. Helen's got some kind of Farrah Fawcett hair going on. She's got wings. She can fly. Right now she looks as though she'd like to strangle Santos. And Ned, who confirms the number.

Suddenly, there's a very loud screeching noise. A giant garage door is going up, and the four of them walk through it and into the convention hall. There are no delegates there yet, but it's bustling with activity as all of the preparations are wrapped up. They stand there, awestruck. Helen takes Santos's hand. They don't show us Josh taking Santos's other hand, but I'm sure it happened. The camera pans around them, and...credits!

C.J.'s office. She's on the phone, getting reamed out by Secretary of Defense Hutchinson while Toby and Kate look on. Charlie comes in and drops a thick Washington Post on the table -- there's a great mockup of an article about time running out for the guys in the International Space Station. (And the photo confirms that astronauts and cosmonaut are all men, so I'll be switching to "spacemen" now.) C.J. hangs up the phone and tells them all that Hutchinson is furious, and that some Senator is coming over to discuss the situation. The timing on these two final episodes is way off, by the way. The last episode seemed to end on the final night of the Republican Convention, which would be a Thursday. That's when Annabeth told Toby that Brock was about to release the story on the military shuttle. Ignoring the fact that there are usually a couple of weeks between conventions, there must at least be a weekend between them. So why is Hutchinson calling on Sunday (or Monday) to express his anger? Did he just not happen to pick up the paper on Friday? If I give the producers the benefit of the doubt, I can assume that the final scene of last week's episode did not actually take place on the same night as the other scenes -- that is, that it was not in fact the final night of the Republican convention. Maybe a couple of weeks went by between Vinick's speech and the leak about the shuttle. But that would have to mean that Leo was getting around to telling Annabeth that she was going to have to quit her job and get rehired for the convention on, say, Saturday night, with the convention opening on Monday. And who do you think is more likely to have messed things up, Leo or John Wells? Oh, and somehow in the time between the prior night's news about the leak and this morning's meeting, C.J. has gotten a perm and some highlights. (Or something like that -- my head is shaved, I'm really not too familiar with those hair terms.) Debbie sticks her head in to tell them that Jed is ready for them.

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West Wing




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