West Wing
A Good Day

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LTG: B | Grade It Now!
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A Kind Of Average Day

In the Sit Room, Kate and the military folks are chatting with Dr. Evil on the videophone. Which, by the way -- have we ever seen that in use before? Because it's both cheesy and awesome at the same time. Dr. Evil is actually some Canadian official. I know this because of his Clouseauesque accent. I think I heard him say, "There's a mankey in ma rheum." Apparently, the ranchers have declared war against the United States. Dr. Evil wants everyone to know that the Prime Minister isn't down with that. Dr. Evil asks if they've seen the ranchers' demands on "Canadian television." Why does everyone keep saying "Canadian television"? If you were Canadian, wouldn't you just call it "television"? ["We might not count on Americans to be able to fill in that blank on their own." -- Wing Chun] On one of the giant monitors in the background, we see footage of the ranchers delivering their demands. Fish and Wildlife Guy chooses this moment to tell everyone that security officers at some national park are prepared to respond. Apparently, volunteer reinforcements may be crossing into Canada through the park. Kate gives him a look that says, "Even if this wasn't a humorous sub-plot, it would still be stupid for you to divulge that information while we are negotiating with a foreign official."

Kate asks Dr. Evil about reports of escalation. Some folks in Alberta (Albertans? ["Indeed." -- Wing Chun]) burned the Governor of Montana in effigy after he suggested calling in the National Guard. Dr. Evil reports that the Governor referred to a U.S. contingency plan to invade Canada. Kate is reassuring him that there is no such plan when Military Guy raises his hand and looks sheepishly down at the table. Kate just trails off, and Dr. Evil looks into the camera and asks, "Are you there?" I assume he can see her, right? I mean, is this just a one-way videophone? Kate tells Dr. Evil that she trusts that local officials can handle the dispute. Once Dr. Evil hangs up, Kate looks at Military Guy and asks if there is really a contingency plan to invade Canada. He asks her, "Would you like to be briefed?" Kate asks if there are other developments, and Fish and Wildlife Guy tells her that a sawmill in Canada is demanding an end to all U.S. soft-timber tariffs. ["Also a real issue." -- Wing Chun] Further, a meatpacking plant in the U.S. is offering free coffee to "all Americans on their way to the front." Kate: "Can we at least not call it a front?" He tells her that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have arrived, but that they are at a disadvantage. Kate wonders how that could be, and Military Guy tells her that the Mounties are carrying small arms, while the hunters are packing the powerful semi-automatic assault weapons that one needs to take down a snow goose. Because snow geese apparently travel in armored personnel carriers. On hearing the litany of weapons carried by the hunters, Fish and Wildlife Guy laughs. He tries to contain it, and tries even harder when Kate gives him a look that would peel paint off a fencepost.

Cliff is pacing outside the door to his office. The door opens, and Santos steps out. Santos tells Cliff to speak to Josh, and then he walks away. Cliff walks into the office, where Josh is sitting behind his desk. Cliff asks if Santos is going to Hartford, and Josh points out that people there have already paid to shake his hand. Josh makes a half-assed offer to give Cliff his chair, but Cliff throws himself down in one of the other chairs and tells Josh to stay put. Cliff looks tense, and Josh tells him that Santos can be back in D.C. in just a few hours, and that he's ready to start calling the folks who are out stumping for him. Cliff thanks him, and then, as they switch seats, the do a little awkward dance. I think Cliff really wants to kiss Josh, but he's just not getting the signal to go ahead. Cliff points out that if there's a single Republican on Santos's flight, the jig will be up. Josh tells him not to worry -- Santos will be flying himself. The thing they need to figure out is where to stash Santos once he arrives back in D.C. Cliff tells Josh to give him half an hour: "It can be arranged." Commercials.

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West Wing

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